Revan's CAD Archive

[Revan]

CHARACTER NAME: Xander Kelly
SPECIES: Human
GENDER: Male
HAIR: Brown
EYES: Green
HEIGHT: average
WEIGHT: average



[ABILITIES] [4w]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: 3 (1w)
STRENGTH: 1 (0w, 1r)
AGILITY: 1 (0w, 1r)
SPEED: 1 (0w, 1r)
DURABILITY: 2 (2w)

HEALTH: 2
ENERGY: 6
REGENERATION: 2


[ACTIONS] [1w]
=========================

Social Skills 3 (1w)



[MODIFIERS] [10w]
=========================

Deck 5 (4w)

Fate 2 (4w)

Strategist 4 (2w)



[CHALLENGES] [+5w]
=========================

Dark Appearance/Presence/Personality (+2)

Tends to always be thinking and calculating (+1)

He used to duel with a purpose, but now he's forgotten what that purpose was (+2)


Equipments
=========================

Duel Disk

Dark World Deck (main deck)

Masochist Deck (deck he's still developing)


Origin
=========================
Not much is known about the new kid other than the fact that he's creepy looking and he often keeps to himself. Rumor has it that he's one of the top duelist from his home town and that he moved here recently just for the tournament. They say he was also supposed to be a competitor in Pegasus' Duelist Kingdom, but he overslept and missed the boat.

[Revan]

Jonathan Briggs



TOTAL COST: [45w]

CHARACTER NAME: Crash
SECRET IDENTITY: Jonathan Briggs
SPECIES: Mutant
GENDER: Male
HAIR: Brown
EYES: Green
HEIGHT: 6'
WEIGHT: 254 lbs



[ABILITIES] [11w]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: 4 (2w)
STRENGTH: 3 (1w)
AGILITY: 3 (1w)
SPEED: 3 (1w)
DURABILITY: 4 (6w)

HEALTH: 4
ENERGY: 12
REGENERATION: 6

WEALTH: 3 (1w)



[ACTIONS] [20w]
=========================

Black Ops/Spying 4
-Counterinsurgency
-Assassination
-Infiltration
-Hiding/Camouflage

Combat - Close 3 (1w)
-Strength Bonus/Weapon Modifier
-Disarm and Takedown Tactics
-Improvised Weapons
-Unarmed Combat

Combat - Ranged 5 (3w)
-Weapon Modifier
-Sniper
-Throwing Knives
-Military Training/Firearms
-Vehicle Weapons Systems


Kinetic Energy Absorption/Reflection 4 (12w)
-Blunt Damage only
-Can increase strength up to AN (+1CL) one time use per absorb
-Automatically causes collateral damage


Social Skills 3 (1w)
-Flirt
-Persuasion
-Intimidation

Vehicle Operation 3 (1w)
-Commercial Vehicles
-Military ground vehicles
-Combat driving



[MODIFIERS] [13w]
=========================

Defense, Energy 3 (1w)

Healing Factor 4 (4w)

Targeting 3 (4w)
-One target only

Toughness 2 (4w)
-No 2x Damage from firearms and projectiles



[CHALLENGES] [+3w]
=========================

Haunted Past (+1)

Mistrust/Hatred of the Law/Government (+2)



[EQUIPMENT] [0w]
=========================

Combat Vest +1
Combat Knife +2
Sniper Rifle +4 Range 5 w/ Silencer
Silenced MP5 +3
Multiple Safe-houses across the U.S.
Black Ford Mustang


==================================================

Crash was an army man who had everything to live for, that is until the army decided to kill his family in hopes that he would turn and volunteer for a top secret project to create super soldiers. Their plan worked at first, but when Crash found out the truth of what happened to his family, all hell broke loose. After about 2 years of trying to reacquire their little experiment, they deemed it would be better to kill him since he's already cost the government billions in man power and equipment. After about another year of being a hunted man, one of the generals finally wizened up. It was cheaper, and more cost effective to report that Crash was dead. Ever since then Crash has just been roaming, trying to find a new purpose for living.

[Revan]

[DESCRIPTION]
=========================

TOTAL COST: [60w]

Brandon Jordan
GENDER: Male
HAIR: Dark Brown
EYES: Green
HEIGHT: 5'10
WEIGHT: 173 lbs



[ABILITIES] [13w, 1r]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: 4 (2w)
STRENGTH: 2 (0w, 2r)
AGILITY: 3 (1w)
SPEED: 2 (0w, 2r)
DURABILITY: 5 (9w)

HEALTH: 5
ENERGY: 15
REGENERATION: 7

WEALTH: 0 (0w)



[ACTIONS] [21w]
=========================

Acrobatics 3 (1w)
-Agility Bonus

Black Ops/Spying 6 (3w)
-Infiltration
-Sabotage
-Gather Information
-Escape
-Intimidation
-Disguise

Charge Objects 5 (12w)
-Variable Energy Charge (fire, electrical, freeze, corrosive, etc.)
-Free Option, 2x Damage
-Free Option, Area Effect
-Automatically causes collateral damage

Combat - Close 4 (2w)
-Strength Bonus/Weapon Modifier
-Street Fighting
-Dirty Tactics
-Kickboxing
-Multiple Opponents

Combat - Ranged 3 (1w)
-Weapon Modifier
-Thrown Weapons
-Improvised weapons
-Small arms

Social Skills 4 (2w)
-Flirt
-Persuasion
-Streetwise
-Sarcasm



[MODIFIERS] [25w, 2r]
=========================

Explosive Impact as Claws 3 (6w)

Defense, Energy 2 (0w, 2r)

Healing Factor, Accelerated (12w)

Targeting 2 (4w)

Toughness 2 (3w)



[CHALLENGES] [+10w]
=========================

Being a mutant (+3)

Deadly enemies (+5) The facility, agents, other experiments

Haunted past (+2) Fragmented Memories



[EQUIPMENT] [0w]
=========================



==================================================

[Revan]

Shosuro Ichijo

Rank: 1
Clan: Scorpion
Family: Shosuro
School: Shosuro Infiltrator School

Insight: 129
Honor: 1.5
Glory: 1.0
Status: 1.0

Armor TN = 20+3

Rings
Air (3) [Increase = 4x New Rank Number]
-Awareness 3
-Reflexes 3

Earth (2) [Increase = 4x New Rank Number]
-Stamina 2
-Will Power 2

Fire (2) [Increase = 4x New Rank Number]
-Agility 3
-Intelligence 2

Water (2) [Increase = 4x New Rank Number]
-Strenght 2
-Perception 3

Void (2) [Increase = 6x New Rank Number]


Skills:
*Acting 1 / Awareness
*Athletics 1 / Strength
*Ninjutsu 1 / Agility or Reflexes
*Sincerity 1 / Awareness
*Stealth (sneaking) 3 / Agility
*Sleight of Hand 1 / Agility
Calligraphy 1 / Intelligence
Etiquette 1 / Awareness
Investigation 2 / Perception
Defense 1 / Reflexes
Iaijutsu 1 / Reflexes
Chain Weapon 1 / Agility
Kenjutsu 1 / Agility
Temptation 1 / Awareness
Forgery 1 / Agility
Craft Poison 1 / Intelligence


Techniques
Rank 1
The Path of Shadows
-The first lesson of an infi ltrator is to mask all signs of one’s
true nature. You lose no Honor for use of Low Skills or Ninjutsu
Weapons in the service of the Scorpion Clan (subject to
GM approval). You gain a bonus of +2k0 to the total of all
Stealth Skill Rolls.


Equipment
Ashigaru
Sturdy Black Clothing,
Daisho
Bow
Traveling Pack
5 koku


Advantages:
Dangerous Beauty
-You possess a certain quality that makes you all but
irresistible to members of the opposite sex, and they
succumb easily to your manipulations. You gain a
bonus of +1k0 to the total of all Temptation Skill
Rolls made with members of the opposite sex. Scorpion
characters may purchase this Advantage for 2 points.

Precise Memory
-You have an incredible ability to recall exactly things you
have seen or heard. In any situation where you need to remember
something exactly the way it was, whether the wording
of something you read or the details of a person’s physical
appearance, you add a bonus of +1k1 to your Intelligence
Trait Roll.

Sacred Weapon
-Shosuro Blade
4k2 katana; add +5
to TN to resist poisons
applied to blade

Wary
-You are constantly on alert, always
looking out for the unexpected.
When rolling Investigation (Notice) /
Perception against Stealth (Ambush)
/ Agility to detect an ambush, you
add +1k1 to your roll.


Disadvantages:
Bad Fortune
-Unknown Enemy: Someone somewhere in another
Clan hates you, and wishes to see you dead. You have
no idea who they are or why they hate you, but you
will very soon.

Cursed by The Realm
-Sakkaku: Trickster spirits plague you, and at least
once a month you are the victim of some elaborate,
cruel prank by some malicious spirit.

Touch of The Void
-You have been touched by the essence of the Void, and it has
forever damaged your mind. Whenever you draw upon the
Void, the effect is powerful, but can overwhelm you. When
you spend a Void Point to augment a roll, you gain a bonus
of +2k1 instead of +1k1. Every time you spend a Void Point,
however, you must succeed at a Willpower Trait Roll (TN 30)
or be Dazed for one Round.

[Revan]

Rondo
Heroic Level: 1
Class Levels: Scout 1

Stats

Base	Mod	HP: 26/26	Force Points: 5/5
Str: 10	+0	Reflex Defense = 16	Dark Side Points: 0/11
Dex: 17	+3	Fortitude Defense = 14	Destiny Points: 0
Con: 14	+2	Will Defense = 11	Thresh Hold = 14
Int: 12	+1	Languages: Basic, Rodese	BaB: +0
Wis: 11	+0
Chr: 10	+0

Race: Rodian
Racial Traits:
Hightened Awarness: A Rodian may choos to reroll any perception check, but the result of the reroll must be accepted even if it is worse.
Low-Light Vision: Rodians ignore concealment (but not total concealment) from darkness.
Conditional Bonus Feat: Rodians are taught how to track and survive in the wilderness of Rodia from a very young age. A Rodian with Survival as a trained skill gains Skill Focus (Survival) as a bonus feat.

Trained Skills	Mod	1/2Lv	Focus	Total
Gallactic Lore (int)	+1	+0	+0	+6
Endurance (con)	+2	+0	+0	+7
Mechanics (int)	+1	+0	+0	+6
Perception (wis)	+0	+0	+0	+5
Pilot (dex)	+3	+0	+0	+8
Stealth (dex)	+3	+0	+0	+8
Survival (wis)	+0	+0	+1	+6

Feats	Talents
Shake it off	Acute Senses
Pistols
Rifles
Simple Weapons
Skill Training: Mechanics

Credits: 1275

Equipment	Cost	Dmg	Type	Misc.
Blaster Pistol, hold out	300	3d4	Energy	n/a
Blaster Pistol	500	3d6/2d6	Energy	n/a
Credit Chip	100	n/a	n/a	n/a
Comlink, Short Ranged	250	n/a	n/a	Added Encryption (DC 30 to break encryption)
Utility Belt	500	n/a	n/a	multiple items
Hip Holster	25	n/a	n/a	n/a
Concealed Holster	50	n/a	n/a	n/a

[Revan]

Disclaimer:
The following isn't a CAD but rather a journal of sorts kept by one of my characters on another site. It's being put here so that I have a back up copy of it as it is something that I truly want to keep. This journal however is currently unedited and NOT CENSORED at the moment. I will be going through to re-read and clean up the language, but until I do... you have been warned.





Jan. 2, 2012
3:56 AM
Journal Entry 1


Normally I wouldn't do this type of thing, but... things are changing rapidly. I don't know how long I'll be around. Don't know if I'll be dead or get captured again and have my mind wiped by Weapon X. So I'm making these journal logs on this flash drive as a reminder. Maybe someone out there will find it one day and be able to tell my story. I'm sitting here in Nth degree with all the lights off and everyone in bed as I type this. It's quiet, the first quiet I've had in a while. Haven't had much sleep either. I think it's been over a week since I've gotten a good 4 straight. Comes with the territory I guess. Well, let's get to it then.

It's been about a week now since I faked my death and went on the run. I still feel guilty about leaving my squad behind. Syn would probably just be getting drunk and telling everyone to move on. Tank is the real tragedy. He wasn't meant for this line of work. Even though we've been together for five years, none of us can bare to give him the termination order. I prefer it that way. He has too kind a heart to have all that blood on his hands. Kyllshot, Danielle is probably going to take it the hardest. Everyone called her my kid sister, but I know deep down she wanted to be more than that. I couldn't be that person for her, not with the way I am now. I'd just end up using her, and I don't want that for her. She can do so much better than me.

Besides, I still haven't gotten over Carm'. God do I miss her. Funny how much I can miss a backstabbing cheating bitch. And then she had the nerve to lie to my face and then turn around and accuse me of the same thing. What the fuck is that? I never slept with Laura. I never even touched her. I may be a loose canon at times, but even I know better than to try and hook up with a homicidal chick that's on permanent pms. Even so, I hope she's happy over there at SHIELD with her new boyfriend, I really do. It's just... why can't I move on? Why is that every time things get serious, I panic? I can still remember her. All those nights she would wake up screaming, and crying for no reason. I still remember laying there holding her until she fell asleep. She told me that I was the only one she'd ever felt safe with. Why couldn't she just tell me that it was over. I can't keep dwelling on it. It's been a year now. I need to move on.

Speaking of moving on, I kinda made an ass of myself today. I ran into quite a few people on my way here. Jessica Valentine was the first one I ran into. I watched her for half a day. I needed a scapegoat just in case things got bad. And they did. I really need to make it up to her. I don't know what came over me. I'm better than that. I guess I'm just... scared. I've been an active Weapon X member since I was 15. I always had my squad. I've never been on my own.

Which brings me to another person I've met. Her name is Leesee. And she's Harpoon's little sister. Go figure. Funny how there wasn't any files on her. I've never seen anyone as beautiful as she is. I ended up striking out with her too. She pretty much told me to act my age. How does a person my age act? All I can remember is the facility. All we did was run missions and train. There was no such thing as R&R for us. Our R&R only started after I met Carm' and she convinced us, or me rather, to take our time with the missions so we could hang out and spend some time together. I really wish I knew how to act my age. The funny thing is, even though she brushed me off at first, she still took some time to set me straight. Not just that, but there's something more about her. I really want to get to know her, but at the same time, she's Harpoon's sister. I do something to break her heart, I'll have him to deal with... and the rest of the Marauders. You know what, I hate to say this, but I'm glad she turned me down. If she didn't, I'd be dead by the end of the week. Even still... Okay Rev, get her out of your head.

I've also met a few others, all of them I've read files on. The one that surprise me most was Kitty Pryde. She's another cute one I wouldn't mind spending some time with. She has her serious moments, but, I bet she would be a lot of fun. She just seems to get so down so easily, and she's impulsive. Yeah, I'm one to talk...lol. I tried to help her out, even asked her out. She shot me down each and every time. Still, can you blame a guy for trying?

Speaking of down, there was also Sindra Mallory. I caught her crying in the kitchen. I tried to console her a bit. It hurt me to see her that way. I wish there was something I could have done for her. Part of me wanted to deck Harpoon for that, but I can't blame him. At least he was honest, which is far more than I can say for myself over the last year. I guess, maybe that's why I tried a bit harder to win Kitty's affections. I hoped that maybe if he got rejected the same way that he rejected Sindra, that maybe he would reconsider and at least try to make things work out with the woman. But in retrospect, that wouldn't have been fair to Kitty. I normally have a good sense of people, and Sindra seems like a good person who deserves to be happy. She even wished that Harpoon could be happy even if it wasn't with her. Truth be told, I feel the same way about Carm' right now. And there I go again. Will her memory ever stop haunting me?

I met Scalphunter briefly and he's a bit of an asshole. Wonder if that's how I'm gonna turn up in another 20 years. Then there's Cross. That man knows his stuff, and he's good at command ops. Now if I could just get past his heavy accent. Either that or buy him hooked on phonics. Gambit also stopped by the store, as well as Captain America. But the one person that scares me the most here is Sabretooth. We've studied his video over and over. I must have his whole file memorized by now. The funny thing is, I don't fear what he can do. I fear the fact that I want to fight him. I want to see what he can do first hand. I want to be the one to kill him. No, that's the old me talking. I'm not trying to be that person anymore. Harpoon's said he changed, and I want to believe him. If he, and Sabretooth can change, then there is some hope left for me.

I can't go back to the killing. I can still see those eyes looking at me. I can still hear their screams. Women, children, mutant, and mutant sympathizers. I can still see their faces, their broken bodies when I close my eyes. I can still feel their warm blood. There's nothing I can do to bring them back, and saying sorry is not enough. Someone, anyone, please... tell me what I can do to make it right? Please... someone... tell me what I can do... to make the guilt and pain go away....


Jan. 3, 2012
2:47 AM
Journal Entry 2


Today's events were... interesting to say the least. I lost my flash drive. Yeah, I now right? Me losing something like that. I must really be losing it. I'll admit to this one, ever since leaving the squad, I've pretty much been a wreck. I find myself making one stupid mistake after another, mouthing off when I shouldn't, loosing my cool. Saying the wrong things. Part of me wonders if I lost the cool collected person that I was when I was with them. I don't feel like I've been myself this past week, like I've always been on edge.

Well, anyway, I heard Cross was up early this morning at Unataqti's so I went over there to see if he had found my flash drive. When I got there it looked like he was about to get into a scrap with Wolverine. I've read Cross' file and I know what he could do, just not to what extent. I've also read Logan's file, and seen the vids, so I'm fully aware of what he can do. Part of me wanted to just go after Logan. If I could've taken him down, that would have been big bragging rights. But who would I brag to. Sometimes I keep forgetting that I'm on the run. The way Logan acted, he was a damn bully. I hate bullies. It made me want to fight him even more. I held back at Cross request.

Sindra got all down in the dumps today as well. I really feel for her. I understand where she's coming from. I just wanted to tell her that if she needed to talk.... but my timing was off. She had just started to smile again... and I screwed it all up for her. I'm sorry Sindra, I wish someone would come along and just sweep you off your feet. I wish you would get over him. But I know it's hard to let go of someone you love.

I also had a talk with Creed. Apparently, he's changed a lot. Our records... Weapon X's records needs some updating. With any luck they'll never find out. He said some things that got me thinking. Well, he said a lot of things. Its funny, I always felt he was the bigger threat than Logan, but now, I kinda have a little more respect for him.

They told me a bit more about this goddess. I really don't know what to think on that one. He claims, they all claim that she's the one responsible for their change, that she talks to them. I don't know too much about gods or goddesses. I'll have to talk to Ms. Pryde and possibly Mr. Wagner if he'll talk to me, get their thoughts on things. They also said something about carrying the fire. What does that even mean?

Which brings me to my next topic. Sindra gave me some good advice on moving on. I decided to trust her on it and take it. So, I tried to ask Leesee to give me a chance. If there was anyone I'd be willing to try again with right now, it would be her. She shot me down. It stung. She said she could never be with someone who doesn't carry the fire, who wasn't a Marauder. Though I do want their help, I don't know if I can be a Marauder. I don't know if I'm cut out for it. I guess only time will tell.

The last topic off the night has to do with forgiveness. As I walked through the cold last night a lot of things were going through my head. Part of that is letting go and moving on. And in order to let go, I have to forgive. So Carmilla, if somehow this ever reaches you, know that I will always love you, and I forgive you for everything, and I hope that you can forgive me too. I hope all the ladies I've taken advantage of, but was afraid to commit to, I hope you all can forgive me as well. And to Danielle, if this reaches you, I don't know if those rumors about how you felt for me are true, but if they are, I just want you to know that I'm sorry I couldn't be that one for you. I was in a messed up place for a long time. I'm trying to change that now. I've seen what a one sided love does to a friend, and I don't want to be the one doing that to you. Part of me wants to say that I'm willing to give us a try, but I don't want you to think it's out of pity, and I don't want to give you false hope if things didn't work out. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if we ever met again, and I'm still single, if you really wanted to give it a shot, I would try to make it work, but I'll leave that call to you. You know me better than anyone.

Last on the forgiveness list, is me. I think I've been torturing myself for far too long. I'm getting a bit used to being on the downside and I can't stay there if I'm going to change. It's time I moved forward. All I knew was the facility. But these people have shown me that it's possible to have a life... and a good one. It's about time I tried to reach out and grab a life of my own. So, that's it for tonight. With any luck, I won't lose this flash drive this time around


Jan 4
2:46 AM
Journal Entry 3


Today was... a very sad day for me, for a lot of people. Easter Island came under attack. The news rattled me. When I saw what was going on, I already knew that because mutants were involved Weapon X had their excuse to move in. We went to investigate. God or Goddess or whatever, if you're reading this I just want to say thank you for not letting my squad be there. I watched people I worked with get wiped out. I don't know who specifically, but I know there's at least someone I know personally that lost his life. Ragnarok is dead. I remember bringing him in 3 years ago, trained with him. And now he's gone. He was only 17 for god sake. He was a good person from what I did know of him, and a good agent. He'll be missed.

We came across the Steel Shrike. He must have been the one to take out Ragnarok. He did something to Leesee and then to myself. He probed our minds. It hurt like hell. I'm not sure but I think I passed out for a minute. Then he took us to Magneto and the Queen. There was a lot I wanted to say, but I promised I wouldn't. It was more for fear of for my team than anything. They let us go. I'm not gonna go into details of what was said. Right now all I can do is hope for the best.

We got back and I had a crazy thought. And that was to hit Weapon X while their forces were out. At first it sounded like a good idea. Then I got scared again. John started talking and he seemed really overconfident about it, I think that confidence is what scared me. I know the capabilities of Weapon X, and they aren't someone you want to underestimate. They have files on almost everyone here and know how to best take them down. Yet at the same time I don't know what these guys have been up to. I want to believe in the Marauders capability, but it's hard for me to go on blind faith alone. I'm afraid to take that chance and we end up losing someone. The Marauders are really close with one another, and I don't want anything to happen to that.

A bit later there was some commotion in the streets. Some jerk offs where chasing down a mutant. We had to intervene. We managed to scare off those thugs and rescue the woman. She's a doctor specializing in meta-human physiology. It was then something occurred to me so I had to talk to John. It seems that all the mutants are coming here, and I think the government knows that. I think they are using us to round up all these mutants in one place. We're ground zero for the man vs mutant war. I'll trust John when he says this place is well defended. Apparently there's some magic going on, so we're in good hands I guess.

Lastly I talked with Valador and Nadya last night. They helped me realize a lot of things. I still haven't let go of Carmilla. And because of that, I can't have a meaningful relationship until I do. They told me it would take time to heal. I think part of why I flirt around with everyone is to try to cover up and forget that pain. But when it comes to getting serious, I bail. I don't mean to hurt anyone, I really don't. But I can see how I could. So, I'm gonna take their advice. I'm gonna take that time to heal. From here on out, no more women. Not until I'm sure that I can be serious with a woman.


Jan 5
1: 22 AM
Journal Entry 4


I can't believe I fell asleep on the damn couch. Must have slept wrong at that, my neck is killing me. Well, the pain should be gone by the time I finish typing this. So, it's like either really early, or really late depending on your point of view. The shops closed and I guess they didn't want to wake me. That's fine. At least I'm somewhere warm.

Today was largely uneventful. Sindra was down again. I know she tries to hide it, but I see right through it. We all do. When I came in she was talking to that weird looking guy, I think his name was Machineel and some woman. The chick was tall, but very attractive in her own way. Had I not been dealing with my own issues and attempting to right them, I might have said something. With my luck lately though, I probably would have gotten shot down anyway.

I met 2 new people today as well. Adam is a new hire here at Nth. My first impression of him wasn't a good one. He's was kind of a douche. I really wanted to tell him so, but I bit my tongue, which is something else I'm working on changing. Damn you Wade and your screwed up sense of first amendment rights. Anyway, Tess was the other person I met. She seems cool, if not a bit shy. Hopefully she'll come out of her shell one day. She seems like she could use a friend. It's funny though, I caught Sutmaat looking in my direction and immediately thought that he thought I was hitting on her. Yes Revan, you too can make an ass of yourself... and do it on such a daily basis while here at Nth.

A bit afterwards I ended up talking to Val and Nadya again. And Gambit was around too, but he doesn't seem to say much. Anyway, that Nadya chick confused the hell out of me. The other night they were both telling me I need to heal... take a break from women, yet tonight she was all talking about healing through physical intimacy... I think that's how she put it. Man she's hot. But she's married, and I'm not a home-wrecker. I refuse to be. That Valador is a very lucky man. I envy their relationship. Every time I see them together makes me want to get over this thing even more, just so that I can find that someone to call my own.

Last thing that comes to mind tonight is my mom. Weapon X took the memory of my dad away, but mom... why didn't they take that too. It would have been so much easier for me if they did. I can't remember what her voice sounds like anymore. Her face is a blur in my memories now. Sometimes I wonder if that was you there inside the deathball, inside all the darkness. I have faint memories of someone being there, holding me. But that's not possible. I even had a dream about you, but again, I couldn't make out your face. You were standing there reaching out to me, but I couldn't move. I was stuck. I'm sorry I couldn't come to you. I just want you to know.... I miss you, mom.



Jan 6
11: 52 PM
Journal Entry 5


Most of the day was spend in Harpoon's store. Kitty came by to get info on her car, and she brought Logan so he could get his bike. The guy's still a creep. Colossus also came by looking for them. I'm starting to notice something... some signs here and there. I think there may be something going on between Cody and Kitty. It might just be my imagination, but god I hope not. It seems to be what Sindy was afraid of. But Kitty's taken. She's already in love with Colossus, at least that's the impression I got from her after running into him for the first time. Still, if she's involved with someone Cody should respect that, and if he doesn't, then I have lost a lot of respect for the man. I don't believe in breaking up other people for my own selfish means. Damn, I guess that thing with Carm hurt me more than I thought. Even so, I can not allow myself to be with another man's woman, nor could I ever try to pursue something while they are together. I know what its like to be on the receiving end of that, and that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I was reminded of Carm again today by the way, in the least likely of ways. This girl came in, she had stolen something. They caught her and brought her back in. We talked for a bit, all of us that is. Her powers... she doesn't like her powers. She causes some form of erosion or decay, and she can speak to insects. She said she wanted her powers off, permanently. When she said that, she reminded me of Carm. I couldn't help but want to help her then. I could feel her pain when she said something that I don't care to repeat. She can't get close to someone because of her powers. Well, she has my cell. I hope she decides to call, or come back. If anyone can help her with her powers, Dexter can. Then again, he's yet to train me in how to use my powers. What's with that?

Okay, gonna put this journal entry on hold.... the day isn't exactly over yet.

((To Be Continued))



Jan 7
I0:27 AM
Journal Entry 6


This is probably the hardest thing I'd ever have to write. I finally found my squad. They came here looking for me. While I didn't get to see Zhane, I did get to see Danielle, briefly. She told me that Syn is dead... Marcus... is dead. I keep thinking had I been with them, he'd still be alive. I should have been with them. Where the hell was Zhane when that sentinel came? He could have ripped the damn thing in half. Hell, Marcus could have taken it out. How the hell did it happen? Doesn't matter much now does it. He's gone.

There are other things that've happened. Some of it good, some of it bad, some of it ugly... but I just don't feel like writing about it right now. I had originally planned on going to the holy... but... I can't bring myself to set foot in there right now. It's funny cuz that's probably where I need to be the most. As for everything else that's happened, maybe I'll put it into tomorrow's entry. I'm just not feeling up to this right now....



Jan 8, 2012
11: 42 PM
Journal Entry 7


I guess I'll finish off with what I should have put in my last entry. I blew it again. A simple recon mission on Omega Red, who's supposedly the new owner of Murder Factory. Kitty got too close. I made a judgment call. It went south. He knew who Kitty was. I could see it in his eyes. Still, it wasn't until I came over that he made his move. I wonder... had I now shown up, would he have made his move on Kitty? Either way, I got chewed out about it pretty bad.

That was when Creed took me down to the Holy. I saw here there. She's alive. My mother's alive. I don't care what anyone may say, or what excuse or rationalization anyone could possibly tell me, I know it's her. I finally remember her face... her voice. I couldn't help but cry. Just being able to see her again made everything go away, at least for a little while.

It was morning when we left the Holy. I was given a room here in the bunker. I went to go get my gear where I had hidden it, but when I came back... something had happened. My squad, they found me. Leesee ported Tank to Easter Island. Kyllshot was detained by Cross. She told me that Syn is dead. I took it hard. So hard in fact that I hadn't realized what else was happening. I'm guessing she shot someone. There was blood there at Nth. I never found out who it was, but by the looks of it, Harpoon had fixed the damage... healed whoever had been shot. I'm not gonna keep saying if I was there. I've accepted the truth that I can't be everywhere. I just wish it didn't come down to this. Steel Shrike fixed Danielle, heard he did the same for Zhane. I wish I could have had the chance to talk to them, but it was better that they recover. I'm a wild card right now... a liability. If they were here, it would just be worse. After everything went down, I just went to my room... and crashed. I didn't come out for the rest of the day.

When I finally did come out I found Jessica and Sutmaat trying to find something to do. We tried to watch a movie but then the X-men ported in. I don't exactly know what happened. From what I hear, Omega Red was here. Not only that but Storm has been down to the Holy. Now everything's supposed to be all friendly with the X-men. What the hell is going on? I'm feeling a bit lost in all this to be honest. First I can't do anything right, now I'm out of the loop. I guess I don't rank high enough to get the details. Then again, I didn't ask either. Anyway, after the talks, some how a party started up. It was very, disturbing to say the least. I don't mind a good party, but how do you go from so much tension in the room to drinking and music..... and drinking? I that was supposed to be taboo.

I found it hard to hang around. If you've ever seen that movie 40 days and 40 nights, you'll know why. I'm trying hard to move on, but now it's like everywhere I look, people are hooking up. Remy and Rogue have apparently patched things up. I think Kitty and Cody have something going. What ever happened to the Russian? Hell, Creed and Storm were even getting cozy. What started to bother me most is... I'm suspecting that Leesee and Sutmaat may be an item as well. I still find myself looking at her from time to time. Even so it might be better that she's with brother man. Truth is, I want to maybe move on with her... but if I'm not ready to, it's better for her to be with someone that can actually be what she needs. Now I sound like Sindra. Speaking of which, I haven't seen to much of her lately. I saw he briefly at the part, but that was about it. Well, that's all I got for tonight. Maybe tomorrow will be better.



Jan 9
10:10 PM
Journal Entry 8

I was taken by surprise today when Jessica came by room. It was very unexpected. She wanted to finish our conversation, the one we started before the X-men arrived last night. We talked. It was a real test for me. Here there was a woman, in my room, alone. Yeah, it's getting a bit harder, literally and figuratively (I hope that makes sense). Anyway, we talked. Turns out that the very thing I did to her, she did to someone else... only thing is... she got the guy killed. She forgave me, which is already more than I could ask of her after putting her in that situation. Thank you mom for sending Victor in when you did, because it gave me a break in the conversation when my mind started going where it shouldn't have. Well, not that it shouldn't have, I am a guy after all, but I didn't want it to go there. So, I found out that Jess is a little shy around people. I took her out to go hang with the others. She seemed to finally loosen up a bit, tried to help me out even after I poured ice down Leesee's back. Which reminds me, I need to get her back for that tree.

After everyone left, we talked a little more. The conversation took an unexpected turn. I'll be honest, she scared me with what she said. I was telling her about how I was taking a break from women, the intimacy thing, and the whole relationship thing. She asked me something that I didn't exactly have an answer for... something I didn't even think to consider. I'm consciously choosing to avoid a relationship... but what if, by accident, I end up in one? How does someone accidentally end up in a relationship? I've heard of people accidentally sleeping together, be it curiosity, intoxication, or just bad judgment, but how do you accidentally end up in a relationship? I gave her the most honest answer I could. I told her that if I found myself in that situation, than I would hope that whoever that woman is she would have the understanding to know that I'm not right for her as I am, and that I could only hope that this person is patient enough to either wait for me, or help me work through my issues. It was shortly after that that she slipped and said something that almost killed me. She mentioned something about being my girlfriend. It was a slip of the tongue, but... for it to slip, she must have been thinking about it... right? It's funny, when I first met her, I was actually trying to get her in the sack. But now, I can't. I really hope it isn't like that. I don't want to hurt anyone again. It's bad enough I got Leesee on the brain, but not Jess too. And that's another thing. I need to find out about that. No, what's the point. It doesn't matter if she's single or not, I'm not on the market. I'm still injured reserve for the time being... Mom, you know a lot of things. What should I do?

Later on, after I took a much needed cold shower, I came upstairs and something was going on at Nth. Something with Omega Red. Everyone was tense. Eventually Red left with Sindra's friend. Why would Cody let her leave with him? What the hell is going on? Apparently there is something that they are not telling us, telling me. I wanted to ask Cody, but he left soon afterward. I don't know, sometimes I feel like, I don't know.... like I'm the unwanted stepchild. I know I really shouldn't be thinking like that, but its how I feel.

Now I refuse to play pretend, acting the part of the good son just for praises. I'm not gonna let those thoughts change who I am. For the first time in a while, I'm actually getting a bit more comfortable. My squad is safe, though I miss them. With any luck, they'll be okay. I don't think anyone wants to mess with Shrike or Magneto right now. I'm also thinking of Carm a bit less, which is good. The bad part is that I'm thinking of.... never mind. Aside for all these very attractive women being around, and distracting, I'm working on keeping a cooler head. Don't know how far that's gone, but... stuff always happens around here.



Jan 10
9:22 PM
Journal entry 9


I screwed up yet again. Well, let me start from the beginning. I came into the store, talked briefly with Brotherman and StJohn. I noticed that guy again hanging around Jessica. I didn't know what it was he said to her, but it had her spooked. He wanted her to go with him somewhere. Afraid to go alone, she asked me to go with her. We caught up with him half a block away. When we first got to him, he asked if I was carrying any weapons. When he realized I was unarmed, he flashed 2 auto pistols. That immediately put me on guard. He said he wanted to talk, to finally be honest with someone. He started going on about both loving and hating what he was, and what he'd done. I could sympathize with that. But then he got all secretive again. He had us out there in the cold. I had to wrap my arms around Jessica and provide her what little warmth I could while we tried to talk this guy into coming back to Nth. We finally did, but there was a stipulation. We had to talk in private.

We went by to Nth and talked in the back room. Again we tried to find out more about him. His name is Jason Andrews. Apparently he's some kind of top notch thief. He's been doing it since he was 15 or 16. Someone claiming to be a SHIELD agent was using him for their dirty work, stealing information. The thing is, he didn't come to us for help, or so he claims. He says he just wants to be honest, like have someone to confess to. I told him that this isn't a church. If he wanted some sort of confessional, he should go see a priest. If he wanted help to escape this life, we could help. He got offended somewhere in there and left. Considering his background, what little I know of it, I should have been more sympathetic. Why wasn't I? Sutmaat asked me the same question. I didn't have an answer for that. I'm still wondering, Jason has been hanging around here for a couple of days, but why here? Why did he choose Jessica to try and come clean with? He said that he went through most of his life lying to everyone. Is this just another lie? Was I right to be suspicious? Was I right to be unsympathetic?



Jan. 11
8:42 PM
Journal Entry 10


Not too much going on today. Worked out a bit. Did a small amount of training. Nothing significant. Just killing time till something happens. Eventually I came back up to Nth. Nothing special was going on. Caught Jess and Brotherman chillin, so hung out with them for a bit. We talked about that guy some, then Jessica left, so it ended up with me and Brotherman watching The Relic. I've never seen it before, and now I'm gonna have to see it again. My mind was drifting through the whole movie.

I wanted to ask him about Leesee while we were alone, but... I didn't have the courage to. I guess it really doesn't matter seeing as I can't be with her right now even if I wanted to. What does matter is whether or not she is with Sutmaat. If she is, then I have no choice but to move on. I will not move in on another person's woman. I can't bring myself to cause that kind of drama, that kind of pain. I still know what it feels like, what it felt like when it happened to me. I respect Brotherman way too much to ever do that to him. One day, maybe I'll have the courage to actually ask.

Progress on my "issues" is a bit sketchy right now. The reason I say this is because it's getting harder and harder to stay calm. There are way too many hot ladies walking around. What's worse is that I hear they are all kinky as hell, which is weird because although they talk about it, I don't really see it. Then again, I don't want to see it right now. Another problem for me recently is Jessica. I can honestly say that we've become friends, but there's something about the way she looks at me. Maybe it's just in my head. Either that or this thing I'm going through is worse than I thought. She gets close to me sometimes... and that's a problem for me. Yesterday after that guy left, we talked briefly and then she hugged me. God I hope she didn't notice my hard on. I'm not trying to come off looking like some kind of pig... at least not anymore.

I've been chomping down on a lot of ice lately. The cold and crunching sound it makes in my head is a good distraction so far, but for how long? To help with this, I've picked up a book on meditation. I hope it works.



Jan 12.
11: 57 PM
Journal Entry 11


Today was full of surprises. So I have some good news, and some bad news, and some more good news. I will however, do my best to keep things in order so let's just go through the day's events in order.

I came upstairs today into an unusual situation. There were some Hellfire Club members. They bought quite a few books. I only caught them as they were walking out. Mr. StJohn was also here for a bit.

Another man came in had a bowl of chili, then had a steak and potatoes. Sutmaat got it for him from the bunker. The guy wanted something that took a while to digest. Weird request right? He said he was called Stigma. We talked for a bit and I eventually found out he was a mutant. I was curious about what he could do, so we went outside. I gave him a small demonstration of my powers, leaving him to believe that I use telekinesis. I didn't bother to correct him. Old habits die hard. He seemed eager to find out what I could do, even wanted me to use my powers on him. That sent up a whole lot of red flags. Later I found out that he was an evolutionary type, meaning his body constantly adapts. Closest mutants that I figure with that ability is Mr. Sinister or Darwin. The guy tried to get Sutmaat to use his powers on him. I'm glad that he didn't. Evolutionary types worry me and for good reason. Some of them tend to go around trying to get hit with as much as possible, like this guy. It's like a power craving thing. The more you hit them with something, the harder it is to hurt them. Everything becomes less effective. If this guy gets enough exposure, he'll be nearly unstoppable. And now he's asking to join the Marauders. I don't know if I feel comfortable with that idea. Depending on how far he adapts, it may get to a point where Cross won't even be able to find a weakness in him. The guy worries me.

Now for a good news bad news situation. Brotherman and I had an interesting talk. He wanted to know what the deal was with me and Jessica, like if we were friends or something more. It was hard for him to ask because he didn't want to offend me or anything. My respect for the man grows more and more each day. Anyway, I told him the truth. We're just friends nothing more, nothing less. At first I started to wonder if maybe he had a thing for Jess, but that changed quick after I asked him the same question about him and Leesee. So, here's the good news. Him and Leesee aren't together. The bad news... he has a thing for her as well. Now it all makes sense as to why he would seem so concerned whenever I talked to her. I'll be honest, it hurt me a bit to hear that. I consider him a good friend now and I don't want any bad blood between us, especially over a girl. He said that when the time comes, she'll choose who she wants to be with. Right now, as much as I want to be with her, I pray she chooses him. How noble of me right? No, it's more than just that. I don't even know if I'm doing this whole no woman thing just to get her. I'm not sure I'm doing this for the right reasons. So rather than risk doing something stupid to hurt her, I rather that she be with Sutmaat. But there's another problem. It seems StJohn also has his eyes on her. Personally, I don't have anything against the man, but... I just don't see him as being her type. He's a bit too... prissy for her. Wow, listen to me going on like I know what's best for her. Let me just do myself and everyone else a favor and just shut up about it.

So, the next event of the day. Brotherman and I continued talking. I found out that he knows how to run the sim room. He let me in to train. We ran a sentinel program in NY. Thunder, lightning, the whole works. Me on my own against 3 sentinels. It was the best workout I had in a long time. Had I remembered to wear my body army, I might not have lost an arm. It's cool, it grew by before I finished off the last one. The thing is, IT happened again. This time Sutmaat got it on video. He gave me the disc to give to Dexter later. Even though I haven't gotten a chance to work with Dexter, it's a relief to know that I can use the sim room to train and not be afraid to use my powers... so long as no one else is in there with me. Who know that Brotherman would know something about cosmic energies. After thinking about it, it's like we're related, two sides of the same coin. He's Mr. Fiery Supernova Star Go Boom, and I'm the exact opposite, Mr. Gravity No Light Escaping Black Hole Star Implodey. Did I really just say all that? To hell with it. I'm going to bed.



Jan 13
10:16 PM
Journal Entry 12


Today I've decided to stay in my room and meditate on some things. There really isn't too much to tell for today. I guess I'm pretty much doing this because I need some alone time to sort some things out. I want to say that I'm ready to move on, but I'm just not sure... and I don't trust myself, so I'm meditating.



Jan 14
11:52
Journal Entry 13


Another day that I've kept to myself. Luckily for me I managed to sneak in and out of the kitchen to get some food without running into anyone. Anyway, it's kind of nice to be alone sometimes. I can honestly say I went through the day without thinking of any woman. I think this meditation thing is working. We'll find out tomorrow.



Jan 15
9:13 PM
Journal Entry 14


I came up to Nth today and walked right into another tense situation. I don't exactly know what the hell was going on. There was some new guy there, think he was some sort of merc. Cody and Kitty were arguing over his usefulness and where his loyalty lies. Something about the Avengers was mentioned. The guy got offended, Kitty got pissed and smashed her laptop and left through the floor. Then Cody did his magic thing and disappeared. Wish I knew what was going on. I feel so damned lost. Guess this is what happens when one chooses to isolate himself.

I got to officially meet Rogue today. She looks just like I remember, maybe a little thinner. Got to talking briefly. While I was talking to her, a memory of mine long forgotten had come back to me. When my powers came into being, the Xmen showed up. She was one of them. I remember running from them, getting way. Had I not ran, my life would have probably taken a very different path. I might have become an X-man. The more I think of it though, I can honestly say that, I'm glad to be where I am now. My life might not have been as hard, but who knows where the other path may have taken me. At least this path has reunited me with mom, so for that I'm grateful. Even though the X-men are here now, I'm not sure that I would have been able to see her again. Well, what's done is done. Moving on.

So during my attempt at meditation, I came up with an interesting thought. What I'm doing, this whole staying away from women thing, I don't know if it's working. I'm starting to think that maybe I won't ever change, at least not until the right woman comes along and makes me want to change. It's a scary thought I know. Makes me feel like a damned fool. Before I go doing anything drastic or deciding that I'm not gonna do thing no women thing, I'm gonna give it some more thought.



Jan 16
11:27 PM
Journal Entry 15


Today was a long day with many ups and down. Where do I start. Ah, I was watching the store today. Frost came in, something about his credit card not being rung up properly. I fixed that only to notice him walking around doing something... magical in the store. I pretty much ignored him for the most part, trying to get him out, then I would tell Cody about it later. His powers were reminiscent of Syn's powers. Damn I miss that bastard.

I ended up talking to Jessica today, found out that she wanted to pledge. I panicked, and tried to talk her out of it. During our conversation, I overheard what was happening with Rogue and Kitty, and through their conversation, I ended up hearing something that disturbed me deeply. Kit and Cody were together, which meant that Cody was had gone after another man's woman. I lost all respect for him at that moment. It bothered me so much that I had to get out of there, and Jessica gave me the perfect excuse, so I took her out to have a bit of fun, the way friends do.

We went to central park. I was going to take her ice skating, but we just ended up walking and talking. For some reason, that incident down in the bunker had come to mind, at least the way she slipped up about her possibly being my girlfriend. So, I asked her what she thought of me, trying to probe around, without asking her he question directly. She said some things, and we talked, and I ended up telling her everything. Surprisingly, she understood. I bought her a pretzel, and a soda and we headed back. We were in no way ready for what we walked into.

When we walked into Nth, Arkady was there. Along with some merc that Kitty hired. A bit later Frost showed up again. I headed out to confront him before things might have turned bad. Kitty was actually leading him into the shop, where I knew Cody had set up some kind of magic. I wanted to keep things civilized, but hey, it's Kitty, she's gonna go where she wants, when she wants. At that point, I didn't even care anymore... about anything. Just looking at those two made me sick. So yeah, I considered leaving. Hell, Arkady even offered me a job. For a minute I actually considered taking it. It was then I almost lost it with Cody. It took everything I had not to call him out. Eventually, I just went outside to cool of, chill on the roof.

It hadn't even been 5 minutes before Jess was up there. We talked for a bit, then Jason showed up. Both of them voiced their opinions, tried to help me as best they could. But it was me who realized that I was angry at the wrong people. I still don't agree with what they did, but... the truth is, I finally started to feel like I had gotten away from that whole situation, and now it's like it was unfolding again right before my eyes. Being doomed to watch it happen again. When I looked at Cody, all I saw was him. When I looked at Kitty, all I saw was Carm. Yeah, I lost it. This thing has been consuming me. I'm just glad that I came to my senses before I did something stupid.

I went back downstairs only to find Gyrich there. That bastard, the one responsible for pushing Sentinels into production. He was talking with Cody when somehow Sentinels were brought up. He was whining about the cost of one of his precious Sentinels. So I asked him what the price tag on a life was, cause I'd gladly pay any price to bring Syn back, even if it's in exchange for my own. He said something... I can't even remember what it was, but I was ready to kill him on the spot. I don't think I've ever wanted kill anyone more in my entire life. Him... I want him to cross that line. I want to kill him. I've never felt such hatred for a person in my life. Cody had stepped between them, and man on man... I was so ready to take both of them out. Luckily I didn't. I still don't know what it is that changed my mind. Whatever it is, I'm grateful for it. Its only been a few days since I've learned of Syn's death and to hear Gyrich complain about the price of his death machine... I lost it.

Anyway, I went to the kitchen to cool off. Jess followed me, we talked, then Kitty showed up, and I ended up talking to her as well, kind of explaining myself. God I feel like such a heel. Anyway, after that talk, I did come out feeling a bit better. A lot better actually. Though she didn't know it, my mind was actually dwelling on something else. When we went back out, I managed to apologize to Cody. That man is hard to read sometimes, but at the same time.... it's like I'm getting used to things. Now here's the interesting thing. After everything, I've finally decided to really try and move on, and.... I chose Jessica to be the one to move on with. We started out rocky, with me getting decked, but over the past week, we've become good friends. Because she's a friend and I don't want anything to happen to her, and I don't want to do anything that would hurt her. Because she's a friend, I'm hoping that I would be able to be more cautious with how I treat her.

I went to tell brother man of the news, let him know that now he had one less rival to worry about. I thought he would be happy, but he seemed kind of... down about it. Later on he walked out. I followed him and we started talking. It seems that I've managed to step on his toes in quite a few ways. First there was the fact that we both had a thing for the same girl. Then, I found out that he asked Jessica to be *his* pledge. I knew she mentioned something about it, but I didn't expect this, yet I may have talked her out of it. But there's even more. He's starting to feel... useless within the ranks. That's not a good feeling at all. I'm glad kitty came up when she did. She was able to help him, knew just what to say, and in return, he was able to help her. Sutmaat ended up mentioning something about fate, and how if events didn't turn out as they did, would anyone be doing what they're doing at that mutant commune and because things happened how they did that it was a good thing. I honestly don't know if I can agree with that one. I look back at all the mutants I helped to capture and slaughter. Where was fate then? Had the X-men actually caught me when I was younger, those mutants might have had a chance. I don't know. It's still something I struggle with I guess, the whole fate thing. Even when it comes to mom. It's like I know she's there, watching, yet... Why can't there just be some kind of instruction manual for my life. Anyway, that's all for now.



Jan 18.
1:41 AM
Journal Entry 16


Today was a trying day for me. It started out good, and I mean I was in such a great mood. I woke up, did a little training, spent time with mom and came up to find Vic and Sutmaat chillin, talking. I didn't mean want to interrupt and ended up eavesdropping a bit. It's good that Brother man can talk about his problems.

A bit later Cyclops showed up. Now, I had read his file and heard of what a great leader he was supposed to be. I often wondered about his tactical skills. I'll admit, I used to admire the man. That all changed when I met him today. The guy was a total douche. He came in looking for a fight. I'm still trying to understand him, trying to understand how he could be that way. Then he got into it with Vic, and damn it, Vic started loosing his cool. I'm starting to wonder if the reason he's my mentor is because we both have a similar problem, and that happens to be a rage issue. No matter how much he jokes around and claims he's not that way anymore, I can still see it in him from time to time. I know it's there, lurking. I'm just glad that he's able to channel it. I'm starting to think I should have went with them. Anyway, Vic took a low blow at Summers. Granted he's a douche and probably deserved it, Vic should have been better about it. I'm sure if the tables were turned he would have killed Scott where he stood. I know I would have if someone had talked about....

Moving on, Creed and Brother man went out just as Kitty was coming in, followed by *him.* Just the site of him sickens me. I swear I just want to see how small a package I could crush him into. While I may not be able... let me rephrase that, allowed to kill him right now, I still got his ass. Hope that coffee burned the hell out of him. He's lucky he's helping to fight that registration act. It's his only saving grace right now. The day it passes, we won't need him anymore, then his ass is mine.

Today must have been jackass day. First Summers, then Gyrich... did I mention how much I loathe that guy right now? And lastly, Wolverine shows up. If there was ever one rule of the code I would break, it would be that one against killing other mutants. I swear he would be first on my list, just because. Actually, no, I wouldn't kill him, just bend those adamantium bones a little... maybe leave him crippled. He won't be able to fix that. That's right, I know how to deal with healing factors you bastard, I've got one too.

Through it all, something has been plaguing my mind, but with so many things happening, I didn't get to talk to Jess. She still wants to pledge. Dear god, I hope she doesn't pledge. I don't want her involved in this kind of life. Doesn't she understand that she's part of the reason I chose to stay, to continue doing this... so she wouldn't have to get her hands dirty, or worse. I've already told her that I don't want to lose anyone else close to me? Why is she doing this? I want to tell her no, don't do it... but what right do I have. Here I am, a Marauder pledge, doing exactly what I don't want her to do. You know, part of me wants to go to Washington and just take out everyone associated and promoting the registration act.

In the end, it would only help to push it along further and faster. Which makes me wonder what the Brotherhood is up to. I haven't been able to keep tabs on them, or any mutant or groups since I left the facility. I remember our last scrap with them. It ended up in a draw. Things are different now. I'm learning to use my powers better. I can do more with them now. If need be, I can take them all out on my own. It'd be so easy to, and messy. Been a while since I... I think I'll stop there.

So I'm re-reading this entry, and I'm noticing a dark pattern here. Too many dark thoughts for what started out as a good day. That means I'm headed down to the well first thing in the morning, that and have a talk with mom.



Jan. 19
4:13 AM
Journal Entry 17


That darker side is festering... growing. Today started out so good too. A small bit of my memory had returned, so I went home, just to check out the old neighborhood, or what was left of it. To my surprise, they rebuilt, and quickly too. I went a few blocks away to my old hang. Didn't see any familiar faces though. I was still glad to see the area. It hasn't changed at all. Not even the gangs in the area, still doing the same thing. I got caught in the crossfire, took a few hits... and it still didn't bother me. I was in such high spirits.

I came back to Nth. Saw that Jason was there, and acting a damn fool. I could tell that he has some issues, so I kind of helped him with that a bit. The man has a lot of pride, doesn't want people to see his vulnerable side. I can understand that, so, I offered him a job, not so much as I needed him, but more of the fact to help him out, to make him feel useful, helpful, while maintaining his image which apparently means a lot to the man.

He did cross a line with me though, and Sutmaat. That sex slave thing was nothing to joke about. I hope Sutmaat and Creed killed those assholes running the damned thing. I know I would have. I know Danielle would have done far worse than either of us. She would have tortured them to death. I guess that would be expected from what she's been through.

After Jason left, Sutmaat told me about Gyrich and how the Marauders are trying to protect him. It set me off... way off. I want that man's head. I want him dead. I can't bring myself to forgive that man, at least not now, maybe not ever. I almost walked away from everything to go after him, take him out. In the end, the Marauders would have to take me out just to protect him. Even if it did go down, I wouldn't fight them, but I would have taken him out. I know they wouldn't be able to stop me short of killing me, and... I told Sutmaat exactly how to do that just in case I do end up trying to fight back.

I probably wouldn't be here typing this right now if it wasn't for Jessica. I promised her that I wouldn't hurt her. In the end, my death would have hurt her. I never intended to make her cry. I'm watching her sleep right now and I still can't comprehend why she's so attached to me. We've only been an item for two days. Then again, she's been alone for 6 years. After being on my own for only a month now, I find myself latching on to people, so I guess I'm not one to talk. Jess is not only my girlfriend, but she's my friend, and Sutmaat, I think he is now the closest friend I have here. Right now, I can use all the friends I have.



Jan 19
11: 54 PM
Journal Entry 18


Today was probably the worst day in American history. We believe that the mutant known as Nitro has assassinated the President and many of the cabinet members. The retaliation was swift. Xavier's Institute is gone. There were no survivors. All those kids... gone. Kids for god's sake. They've done nothing wrong, they just wanted to live a normal life in peace.

The same was done to the Avengers mansion. I managed to take out the one headed for us, and I hear Ironman saved the Fantastic Four. It's just... why would the government target the Avengers? Weren't they assembled by the government? And the Fantastic Four? How many times have those guys saved the planet. And now I'm hearing they're agents, human sized Sentinels that look and act human. I hear Weapon X is even being targeted. But if so, what happens to Contingency X? Surely it should be put into play. Those predators would have likely hit the streets by now, feeding on mutants and gaining their powers just to feed again. What about the squads? Would they really send the squads out on extermination missions to take out other meta-humans and in turn, turn on their own Weapons? What about the people in charge? Surely they don't want to run the possibility of loosing out on the facility. Damn it, I hope Lensherr and Denneman are paying attention to what's going on right now. My people are out there, probably being ordered to slaughter more mutants all the while being targeted themselves. And they can't even fight back.

We have whats left of the Avengers here, at least from what I can tell. I'm not sure if they had anyone away on missions or what the official casualty report was. The same with the X-men. I don't know who was still left at the mansion when it got hit. With any luck some of them had other missions besides dealing with us Marauders.

Now that things have gone all to hell, I wouldn't be surprised of the Brotherhood was on the move. They've been waiting for this to happen, steadily poking at the fire. It wouldn't surprise me if Nitro was with them. Then there's X-Force. Though their intentions are usually to benefit mutantkind, they are also extremist. X-Factor is funded by the government, but it wouldn't surprise me if they were next on the list. Then again, I remember hearing of works to officially disband the group. There's just so many factions out there now in different parts of the country. I hope we all make it.

I want to fight back, but Gyrich wants us to play nice while we get screwed up the ass with no lube. I... I almost killed him today. When he showed up with Sindra. I almost went to kill him last night. I'm starting to think that if I had gone, I might have stumbled upon Nitro early, maybe could have stopped all this. I don't know. I saw that look in Jason's eye. He was thinking what I was thinking. If it wasn't for Jess, I would have grabbed him, called in a few favors, and we would have taken out each and every one of those sons of bitches responsible, and Gyrich, I would have saved him for last. I would have done him slowly. I would sit there with a happy smile on my face as I watch him in that little ball as it shrinks around him. I'd get to watch his bones bread and his head pop under the pressure. But no, I wouldn't stop there. I'd keep going till he was the size of a marble.

There is only one thing that saved him last night, and that was Jessica. Had it not been for her, I would have killed him, I would have likely forfeited my life in the process because I know the Marauders would have killed me. It would be the only way to stop me. I guess in that regard, we both our Jess our lives. Here I am, in her room watching her sleep. She wouldn't let me leave, afraid that I'll be gone for good when she gets up. I can't say I blame her after what's happened. It's the second day in a row I've scared the hell out of her. I can't keep making a habit out of that.

Things are changing, with the team, with me, with everyone. This thing has changed everyone. This thing hasn't change me. Something else has. I want to think it's me growing up finally. I want to think it's Jessica. But that would mean a good change. That's not what I've been feeling lately. There's something there, dark and brooding in the back of my mind, in the depths of my soul. I don't know what it is, but it's making me anxious, edgy. Like I want to just destroy everything and watch it all burn. I don't know what this feeling is, and it scares me.

[Revan]

Jan 20
No clue what time it is here.
Journal Entry 19


The base has moved. I have no clue where we are. Apparently some tropical island. Winter Revel is apparently still going to happen. I can't bring myself to be part of it. Not after yesterday's tragedy. How can anyone sit up here and party. Where is the time to grieve? I look at them all and it's like they don't even give a rats ass as to what happened. I don't mind a good party, but the timing could have been better. This is in such poor taste. I really feel for the X-men, at least the ones that actually have a heart. They've lost friends, relatives, students. All those lives gone in a flash. Yet up there, they're just living it up like nothing happened. This place is just so fucking backwards. Are they all just heartless bastards? "Hey, screw honoring the dead, lets throw a fucking party and have a good time." Yet I'm the one getting dumped on for my bullshit. You know what, screw this. It's time someone paid for what's happened. I know Jason's willing to get his hands dirty to set things right. I can count on him, but if I can't find him, then I'll be doing this on my own.

If this would be my last journal entry, then there's a few things that I want to say. To Sutmaat. I have come to consider you my brother. I hope that you find happiness. To Dex, I know you're a hard-ass most of the time, but I know you mean well. Just learn to speak better English. To Lessee, Hey kiddo, sorry I won't get the chance to show you up with the pranks. Do me a favor though. Give my brother a shot. Tess, you have a kind heart. Don't ever change. John, two words, colon cleanse. Janos, go with the red one. You know what I mean. Kang-sun, keep being who you are. Vee, my only regret with you is that we haven't actually gotten to know each other better. Vic, thanks for everything. I wish I would have had more time to learn from you. I can't really remember my father and you kind of fill that void for me. Kitty, don't ever change. Sindy, beware of Adam, he's taken a liking to you. Keep smiling babe, you're beautiful. Cody, I know you trust my mother more than anything. Sometimes it blinds you and makes you overconfident. Please be weary of this. Gyrich, if it wasn't for mother telling me I would lose everything, I would have killed you by now. But you know what, if your reading this, that's okay. I'll see you in hell. Lastly, this is to Jessica. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for having to break my promise. It's not like I intended to not come back, but sometimes that's just how things happen. Am I being foolish, stubborn, reckless? Maybe, but I'm tired of sitting here with my thumb up my ass and being talked down to by everyone. I'm getting off track.... I want to say thank for being you, for accepting me and all of my bullshit. Thank you for helping me move on. And if you're reading this, know that I know, you'll grieve, but don't grieve for too long. Just like I have, you need to move on.



Jan. 22
5:16 AM
Journal entry 20


This entry comes a little later than expected. I just got in maybe 2 hours ago. Can't believe we spent most of the night there on the beach. Anyway, Jess is sound asleep write now, and before I get to writing that essay for Vic, I thought I should get these things down while they're fresh in my head.

First off, I didn't expect to be writing another journal entry here. I didn't expect to come back alive to be honest. The other day, I completely lost it. I lost my sanity, my temper, my mind. I couldn't take the fact that here were people trying to party and have a good time while so many others were hurting. It just seemed so wrong. Still does. I'm not saying that they shouldn't be partying, I'm just saying the timing could have been better. I was pissed off. I wanted to get revenge for all those lives needlessly lost. The first thing I did was to send out false info to Weapon X. That got most of the squads stationed there to deploy. I knew the thought of capturing 2 possible omega classes would be too enticing not to jump on. I contacted Jason, brought him in, as well as Deadpool. It turns out Deadpool might have lost a friend at Xavier's. I'm still trying to confirm that. That was his only motivation in this. It's the only reason why he agreed to do it free of charge. Jason on the other hand was like me. We both felt strongly, maybe a bit too strongly about what had happened. I may have let those emotions blind me.

From there I found the location of a second Weapon-X Facility along with a Sentinel assembly plant. We hit the plant first, but the facility is where the problem came up. I was able to go all out on the first two targets, but the last facility... Well, it ended up bad. I was hit first. I don't know what it was that hit me, but it screwed with my powers pretty bad. I lost control. Wade got hit next. I don't know what kind of ammo they were using, but it stopped Wade's ability to heal cold. I had Jason get Wade out of there before he was killed. I tried to hold on as long as I could, but that thing they hit me with... I tried to fly, to go straight up, but I couldn't move. By then it was too late. Innocent people got caught.

We retreated and Jason had treated our wounds. Hurt like hell and he could use a bit of a bedside manner, but he managed to save us. Our powers kicked back in after a few hours. I'm not sure, but I think they were specially designed for people with healing abilities. I don't think they expected it to screw with my other powers the way they did. Either way, it's over now.

I regret what happened to that news crew that was there. I had planned on turning myself in and assume all responsibility for my actions. I wouldn't be surprised if it turned into a public execution just for the sake of calming the riots down. The funny thing is, other than Weapon X, I don't think they know how to kill me. It would have been a risk, but I was going to take that risk. That was until Jessica called me back.

I had called her earlier in the day using some prepay cellphone Jason picked up for me. Mine had been given to some girl a while back. I wonder if that girl survived. Anyway, I missed hearing Jessica's voice. I wanted her to know that I was okay, I wanted to know if she was okay. When she called me back and said that Gyrich had become a mutant and was emitting radiation, I got scared. I left Jason and Deadpool behind and went to her.

It was there that nightmare from the other night became a reality. I wasn't going to fight the Marauders at all, no matter what happened, I will not, nor will I ever fight them. Then Gyrich showed up and started to push. It was then that I understood clearly. If I got into it with Gyrich, I would have killed him, in doing so... IT would have happened again, and that dream already told me who the victims would have been. The Marauders had already turned their back on me. Aside from Worthington, the X-men were nowhere to be found, but I already knew that they would do the same. But, I held on. I refused to let things play out the same way they did in that nightmare, I refused to go after Gyrich, and because of it, I came to learn that they, the Marauders did have my back.

It was Creed that came out and spoke up. He's the one that convinced Cody to give me a second chance. Had he not done so, I was prepared to leave, and never come back. Truth is I probably would have ended up on a destructive rampage full hate and anger. Eventually, it would have ended up in my death. Then again, what's the point of living if she was gone. I couldn't take her with me. She'd be safer with the Marauders. I can't think of anywhere she would be safer, and I rather live in exile without her than to have her with me and getting killed.

Anyway, I've been given a second chance, and I plan on making the best of it. I've re-pledge, and this time, I've actually taken the oath, sworn to it before I've become a full member. Somehow he must have known that I hold dear to my word. I'm honor bound to become a Marauder now. My year and a day starts all over. This is gonna be a very hard road for me, harder than any I've ever been on. But I'd gladly walk it. I've been restricted from using my powers, but that won't stop me. That just means I'll have to be that much better if I want to protect the ones I love.



Jan 22
11:16 PM
Journal Entry 21


I spent the part of the day helping Jessica move in, the rest, I spent alone in my room. There was so much on my mind, so much I had to think about. I owe Victor so much right now, and the rest of the Marauders. I know they didn't have to give me another shot. I didn't expect them to. I'm just... so mad at myself for being so weak and not being able to deal with things. Truth is, I"m scared. It's not death that scares me, nor the fighting. What scares me is the fact that I like to fight, almost too much. I've gotten used to thinking I'm invincible thanks to my healing factor. Then when I finally found that I could safely train to use my powers... I wanted to fight even more, see what I could really do.

There were other things that scared me. I fear for Jessica's safety. The fact that the Avengers' Mansion and Xaviers Institute were wiped out, and that it could have been Greenwich... that Jess could have been killed... I lost it. I wanted to make sure that it wouldn't happen again. I was pissed that just after all this happened, that people were actually planning to have a party. I felt as if they didn't even care, so I left to do what I felt was the right thing. It ended up being wrong, and now, I've been replaying those events over and over again. Can't seem to shake them from my head.

Found out later that some bad stuff was going on here. Jess was my only thought, so I came back as quick as I could. When I got here, I never expected to be treated like a hostile, like an outcast. She told me when I was almost here. They gave me a second chance at the cost of my powers. As I look back on it, I'm glad they did it. I'm a wildcard right now and I've been taking way too many chances. My healing factor makes me overconfident... I guess that's how all of us with healing abilities are. We go around thinking we're invincible. I don't know if this suppressor stops my healing factor, but I'm not gonna test it. They can keep my gravity powers and my healing abilities so long as I can still be with Jess. I'll make due without 'em, so long as I have her.

I've went through most of my time in Weapon X rarely using my power.... but now I'll have to be more careful. There is no rarely using powers anymore. There may not be a healing factor. That means I have to change tactics. Before I can focus on battle tactics and plans, I need to focus on changing my mindset. In light of that, I've been doing some reading, trying to educate myself, gain some perspective, and all out better myself. Right now I have books here on electronics, information systems and security, mechanical engineering, and robotics, along with a few books from a few famous authors, Twain, Cheever, Poe, Blake, and a few others. I hope this will end up changing my thinking on everything.

Lastly, I've finished that essay for Victor. Well, it's more like a detailed book now. A lot of it focused on working as a cohesive unit, completely detailed with scenario descriptions and the like along with a few illustrations. It was... good for me. I needed to be reminded of that. Too many solo missions over the past year. And here I am thinking it's everyone else that's screwing up. I'm the one that lost the edge. Now it's time for me to get that edge back.



Jan 23
10 48 PM
Journal Entry 22


Done some more reading, a bit of training and then headed outside today. Would have spent more time in the room, but Jess wasn't feeling to well. Hopefully it's just a 24 hour bug.

So, I ended up on the beach, chillin', trying to think about my next move, my past choices and everything that's gotten me here so far. I can't help but think about all the trouble I've caused and all the lives I've taken. The guilt is literally eating me up, and I don't know what to do about it. It's worse than when I was with the facility, at least when I was with them, I could say I was following orders. This time... there were no orders, it was all me. It was my decision, it was my fault.

It's hard for me to be around these guys now, knowing what they stand for and knowing what I've done. I keep looking at this thing on my arm and now I wish they had done it a long time ago, yet at the same time, if they did, Greenwich would be gone... we might all be gone. Right now I feel so useless. I can't protect anyone like this. That's why on top of training with Cross, I've asked Gambit to teach me as well. I'm used to being out front, taking shots, playing the role of off-tank and hunter. Now I have to take on a new role unfamiliar to me. I have to learn to be sneaky, cunning, "friends with the shadows" as Remy put it. This role change may be for the better. It's humbling to say the least, but it's probably exactly what I need. Guess only time will tell.

On a lighter note, I spent some time with Tess. She seems very self-conscious and quiet. I can't say I blame her though. I know it's hard for a lot of mutant with visible mutations. I couldn't help but feel for her. We talked and I did what I could to help her feel more accepted. She may seem a bit peculiar but there's something in her eyes, something that I just can't put my finger on. She has a good heart, that I know. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. I introduced her to Sutmaat and Gambit. She seemed to start to come out of her shell, which is good. I'll be keeping an eye on her from here on out, make sure she really knows that I'm serious when I say she's part of this family.



Jan 24
11:10 PM
Journal Entry 23


Today had its ups and downs. It started off with a brief talk with Sutmaat. That nightmare was one of the things that had been plaguing my mind for almost a week now. I had to tell him. I don't know if our fates are dependent on Gyrich's survival or it was just a bad dream... but I can't risk finding out. There's too much at stake, too much I don't want to lose. The dream was enough to scare me into putting aside my differences and my hatred for the man. I won't let him know that, I don't want him to treat me any differently than anyone else. I'm not looking to be his friend, but I will do what I can to ensure that he lives, at all cost.

It wasn't much later that I ended up witnessing another incident. This time between Archangel and Psylocke. I... don't exactly know what it was between them, but something about it reminded me of Charm. For the first time in a while, I thought about her. I'm not gonna say what went on with those two, but I can only guess. It made me start to think what I would do if I ever saw her again. Now I'm feeling guilty about it, looking at Jess, yet thinking about an old flame. Jess tried to ask me what was on my mind, but I couldn't tell her that. How could I. Thank god I was able to change the subject.

Whether or not the issue between those two came to a close or what is beyond my knowledge. But it ended up with Warren taking off for a while. Then Gyrich had his mission to go on. Since there wasn't much else to do, Jess and I went back to our room. Still, being there with her, I couldn't help but feel guilty.

I came back up to the beach a little later to clear my head and to my surprise there he was big as day. Namor, king of Atlantis. I had read stories on him, but I never thought I'd actually get to meet him. It was like something out of a dream. I was so stoked. I was so ready to jump on Gyrich and kiss the man for bringing Namor here. That guy was awesome, and he loved Sindy's tiramisu... I think that's what it was called. I think she was as stoked as I was. It was so awesome to see him.

After he left though, things took another turn. Apparently Sebastion had a little problem with Leesee. Her powers... have a bit of an unexpected affect on him. Now, I don't know how I would have handled that situation if I was in his place, or if I was in Cody's place. I just think it all should have been handled better on all ends. I can see all sides here and I feel that the end result was a little harsh. But hey, rule 1, there's nothing I can do about it. One thing did happen though. Cody got pissed. Seeing the man like that scares me. The funny thing is, I'm not scared of his powers, his magic, or anything his is capable of. It's just... when you see a change in a person that's always been cool as ice under pressure go off... it... does something to you. Almost like finding out something you believed in with all your heart turns out to be a lie. Maybe that's a bit of an over exaggeration. I know people get angry, and they all have their breaking points... but still...

I managed to talk to Cody about something else, something that's been bothering me. This dark brooding inside of me. He said that it's a part of me, a part of all of the Marauders. That's why we are able to do what we do. I just don't understand how it is that I can hate and regret all the violence and all the killing, yet when I lost my temper.... I reveled in it. I loved every part of it and wanted more. That thought still scares me, and it's because of that I'm glad that I have this suppressor on my wrist. No powers. That means I'm not a liability to the world for losing my cool. All that's left now... is more learning, learning about myself, learning new skills, and learning some damn self-control.



January 25
11:31 PM
Journal Entry 24


I'll start this journal entry by admitting to the fact that I am such an asshole and there is no way on earth I deserve to be with this woman sleeping here beside me. Yet she cares for me more than I knew.

So I've had a lot on my mind since yesterday, and Jess wanted me to talk to her about it, about the things on my mind. She wanted me to let it out, so that's what I tried to do. Somewhere along the way, signals got crossed and I ended up getting angry. It wasn't her fault at all. It was me, I know it was all me. I had no reason to be angry with her. I can't even remember what it was that set me off, probably something silly. I'm just glad that we made up.

We went surface side and talked some more. I'm trying to tell her everything that's on my mind. There's just so much to tell. Part of it I didn't even want to think about. One of the things that bothered me was the thought that entered my mind after that thing with Psylocke and Archangel. I started to wonder about Carm. It was the first time in a while that I thought about her. I couldn't help thinking about what would happen if I saw her again. Would she still be bitter? Would she want to work things out? Then what about Jess, I can't just toss her aside. I'm glad that Tess was there, it gave me an excuse, a distraction not to go into it right there and there.

Soon afterward Sindra got the girls together and they started dancing.l It was nice to see them doing there thing, and having Sutmaat playing the drum. And then me Jess ended up going off to talk again. I wanted to know where here head was at, what she thought about us, about our future. For her it seems that she's about the here and now. Me, I'm questioning if we'll even last. I'm worried about whether she'll lose her life being around us, especially with what we're up against, or that I'll lose her to another man like I did Carm. We talked about it briefly... didn't exactly get the response I was looking for. Then again, what kind of response can a person look forward to with that kind of question.

She at the very least agreed to train with me, which helps me feel a lot better. I know she doesn't want to kill anyone, but I don't want her being a victim either. I can't protect her as well as I could before, so in light of that, I want her to know how to take care of herself. Phasing through things may not always be an option.

There's so much more that I want to tell her, but, looks like I'll have to wait for another time. In the mean time, I need to find a hobby, keep my mind distracted. Let's see what happens tomorrow.



Jan. 26
9:52 PM
Journal Entry 25


Things got rough today. We lost contact with Hawaii. When we finally go wind of what happened, it wasn't good. A series of earthquakes had devastated it also sending a tsunami to the west coast. Everyone was moved to the bunker for an emergency evac. I found myself there in the control room helping Kitty and Kang-sun in operations and communications, keeping track of that wave. It was there that I found out we may be at war with Magneto as well. At first I thought Zhane and Danielle would be safe there. I'm not so sure now. I wish... I wish I would have taken Cody up on that offer to negotiate for them when I had the chance. I gave Kitty and Sunny their information in hopes that they could get in contact with them. In the mean time, that wave was still on the move.

We did everything we could could to buy time. We even went so far as to remove my inhibitor. I wasted little time heading out, Ironman cam with me. We flew over Hawaii and it was a nightmare. The destruction was one thing, but the people... there weren't any. We saw some kind of glittering bugs around there, but our orders were to not engage, so we kept heading for the wave. We watched as some ships, even and oil tanker get flipped like it was nothing. I wish we had time to go back and save them, but the bigger threat, the wave... was heading for the west coast.

It began with Pete, or Radiac as he's called now and myself trying to stop the wave. After continuous efforts on both our parts, we failed, only slowed it down. Storm even came by to lend a hand while Angel, Rogue, and Radiac started trying to evacuate as many people as they could. All the while this was going on, the base had moved back to New York, only come under attack by Sentinels. We were ordered to retreat. Just as I got ready to go, that death ball happened again. I took into the water to get the best of the wave that I could, and get as far away from people as I could. I still have now clue how well it worked. My powers had been strained to their limit, causing me to pass out in mid air after I had just lifted out of the water. Stark has my gratitude, I wouldn't have made it back without him.

When I came to, I found myself in the infirmary. I headed straight to operations as soon as I could. It seems that we're finally going on the offensive. We're hitting NORAD. Our mission is to take out the remaining cabinet members to get Gyrich in office. The plan is risky to say the least, so risky in fact that Harpoon won't approve the mission until everyone is 100% combat ready and rested. I myself have been ordered to rest, been given 12 hours before we leave on our mission.

I headed down to my room and I had a talk with Jess. It wasn't one that I was planning on having, but it happened anyway. It turns out Jess isn't happy here. She's happy with me, but she's just not happy here, waiting, wondering if I'll ever come back. I can't say I blame here. I want her to be happy more than anything. But I gave my word on becoming a Marauder. I'm not eager to leave, but Jess is everything to me. After this mission, I'll have to talk to Victor, see what can be done. I don't want to lose her, so if she wants to go then I want to go with her. But I don't want to break my oath. I don't want to betray them again. Hopefully Victor would have some kind of solution to this problem.

Even though I was ordered to get some rest, I ended up in the kitchen, talking to Tess and Betsy. Caught Warren taking a snooze. Put an empty soda can on his head. Damn, I wish I had a camera now. Anyway, the ladies had tea. Jess joined us a bit later. She was hungry, so I ended up cooking... made arroz con abituelaz y platanos maduros with some fried chicken on the side. Still can't remember where and when I learned how to cook like that. I guess it'll come to me one day.

While I was cooking I noticed Betsy had actually waken Warren. They seemed to be talking as they left the kitchen. I hoped that they would be able to work things out, but Jess told me otherwise. I didn't know until she had a heightened sense of hearing. I feel sorry for both of them. Their whole situation just made me appreciate Jess that much more.

So anyway, Jess and Tess ate the food cuz it was best.... LOL, I should be a rapper... okay maybe not. So yeah, they like the food, we talked, but then I slipped and I ended up telling Tess that we were thinking of leaving. Now I feel even more guilty for that. I've grown attached to Tess. I love her like she's my real sister which makes it harder for me to leave. I really don't want to leave to be honest, but I love Jess and I want her to be happy.

There's something I want to do for Tess, so tomorrow morning, I'm going down to the Holy early. I'm going to ask mother for a miracle. I'm going to ask her if she can let Tess change back to normal and have the ability to go back and forth the way Sutmaat does. If she can't do that, then maybe, just maybe she can let Tess be normal, even if it's just for one day. I know there's nothing wrong with being a mutant, but I see the way some of the people look at her, and I know she's self-conscious about it.

Anyway, I'm about to get in an hour of training before I come back for the night. I promised Jess some "us" time before I go and I've got an early morning.



Jan. 27
11:16 PM
Journal Entry 26


Went on a mission today. The mission succeeded, but... we just weren't fast enough. We only managed to save 50 out of maybe 200 or so mutants. We should have been faster. there was this one girl we came across... it was hard to watch her so I'm not even gonna describe it. I was so excited to finally get to pay those bastards back, but the now after seeing what's been happening to those mutants, I feel sick. I must've spent an hour or so down in the Holy, just crying, trying to feel better. It helped to let it all, it helped just being there.

Every time I look at one of them, I hate what I was. To even have had a hand in what those people where going through... just makes me want to drop dead. That facility we hit, that was one of Weapon X's drop offs for the mutants we couldn't use. Had I thought about it, I would have hit there first. I still close my eyes at night sometimes and hear their screams. Those images on the broadcast... those men abusing and torturing... they could have easily been me. I don't want this life. I love to fight, but I'm starting to hate the killing.

After everything was said and done, the ride home was the hardest one. Here we had worked together as best we could, yet the fighting and bickering still went on between the groups. So much infighting between the X-men. I used to hold them in such high regards, but how can they possibly function like that. For me, my squad was family. No matter how much we fought, we always ended up forgiving one another. When Warren talked about rebuilding the school, it was almost as if they were falling apart. Why does it seem like everything's falling apart? Why does it feel like everything we do just isn't good enough. Maybe I'm the one that's not good enough.

There's just so much hate and animosity, and so little compassion. Sometimes I just want this world to burn, let everyone die and just start over fresh. Get rid of all the stupid little labels and social classes and all the bullshit prejudices. Sometimes I still thing Magneto has the right idea. If the norms hate us so much, maybe we should be separate. I just don't agree with treating the norms as lesser citizens either, that would make us hypocrites and we'd be no better for it. Why can't things just... I don't know... be simpler. I would kill to make this world livable again. I would die for it too. I would gladly give my life to make the world a better place for all of them.



Jan 28
9:57 PM
Journal Entry 27


I've taken time today to calm down after yesterday's events, keeping things light today. Found out a small interesting tidbit of information. Weapon X's expenditure account is still active... and I still have access. I took advantage of that fact, went to a junkyard, bought myself a car. Now I know, why would someone go to a junkyard to buy a car. Well, I've always had a thing for cars, and what I a bought was a '69 Chevelle SS. Right now, it's just a piece of junk, but I plan on investing a lot of money and time restoring that car. It's funny, when did I learn how to work on cars?

After I had the body delivered, and had John help me get it into the garage, I went down to the Sim room and did a bit of training with Dex. After that, took a break, examined the car, made a list of what I'll be needing for it, and I put in a few orders for some parts. Took time to do some more reading and started to brush up on my intel and operations skills. Never know when Kitty and Sunny are going to need a hand again and it's best to be prepared. Lastly, I took Jess into the sim room with me. I've started to teach her. Started out playing tag. She's pretty fast, but I'm trying to teach her other methods of running away without using her powers... teaching her parkour. She almost busted her face, would have too if I hadn't caught her. I started teaching her how to move, showing her how to fall, which way to bend. The whole thing ended up with us being naked and exhausted on the sim room floor. Thank goodness no one walked in on us. Shit, just realized I was recording the session, hope I can get to that video before anyone else... Matter of fact, let me go get that right now.



Jan 30
2:11 AM
Journal Entry 28



How to even start this one.... I'm going to be a father. I know, right, me a dad? Jess kinda just sprung it up on me this afternoon. When she first told me I didn't quite know how to take the news. I wasn't intentionally being insensitive... it's just... wow... so unexpected. She came back later and we talked. I won't lie, I was terrified. As she talked, I began to realize that she was just as scared as I was, maybe more so. I don't know exactly what was going on in her head, maybe she'd thought I'd leave or something I don't know. She wanted to know what my thoughts were on having on the situation. All she really wanted was for me to reassure her that I would be there, that she wasn't in this alone... and she's not. I'm gonna be there every step o the way.

Which brings me to my next problem. I went to Victor and Ororo for advice. They pretty much told me that we should have an abortion. Just the thought of it alone sent me through the roof. How can I ask Jess to do something like that? Ororo even told me herself that she'd had one in her younger days? Her, Ororo, the one that supposedly loves life, to suggest such a thing. I can't do it. I can't ask Jess to do it. It then turned into an argument about how it isn't my choice, the choice belongs to Jess. I never cared for that whole pro-life/pro-choice debate. But now, when faced with it... I can't see myself asking her to do it.

The argument got heated. Why couldn't Vic just let me walk off? He knows I got a temper just like he does. Why couldn't he just let me cool off? Instead he decided to pull rank on me. The argument continued for a bit... until I finally lost it. Why did I have to loose it? Why do I feel so passionate about this whole thing anyway? Hell, I've killed kids before. But this was different.

"Leave it to a butcher to rationalize killing his own seed."

My words... words that shouldn't have come out. There they were, and it's not like I could ever take them back. Victor stormed off... had he let me go in the first place it wouldn't have happened. Had I better control of my temper... it wouldn't have happened. Through the whole conversation they talked about how it would be better for us to abort the baby, how I would be a bad father, how messed up the baby would be when it grows up because of me. Where were the positive points to this? There are people out there who aren't perfect parents who struggle to raise their kids as best they can. Am I not capable of being one of them? I guess not, at least not in their eyes. Hell, even Janos agreed with them. "Flush the thing." What the fuck... That's my kid we're talking about.

Funny thing is, the only one that actually talked to me rationally about any of this was Gyrich. I know right... my "sworn" enemy. Even though he looked at abortion as an option, he at least brought up the fact that there are other options. He really talked to me, and because of that, I've grown a quite a bit of respect for the man. I have to remember to thank him.

I need to talk to Jess first thing in the morning. I am not, nor will I bring up abortion to her, ever, period. I don't even want to think about it. I also need to talk to Victor. Even if I can't make things right with him, I still have to apologize, I still have to try. Right now it's not even about the Marauders. This has become a personal issue over a very touchy subject, and part of that is my fault, but I refuse to bare all the blame. While it was okay to make the suggestion, they had no right to try and force their point of view on me and Jess. Hell, if they wanna go that far then they're no better than the damned government right now.

Okay, I'm a bit too agitated right now. I'm going to sleep.



Jan 30
11:41 PM
Journal Entry 29


Couldn't sleep last night. Got up early and went for a walk to clear my head. Before I knew it the whole day had gone by. Didn't even realize how far I had gone until some crackhead came up to me begging me for money for her next fix. She... had a baby in her arms, long dead by the looks of it. It got me to thinking. People like this are out here having kids, neglecting them, letting them fall victim to life because they can't deal. Am I no better than this addict? Will my choices, my vices cause me to lose what I hold dear?

I continued my walk, now in Queens. Walked by an elementary school. Think it was P.S. 219 or something. As I stood watching the kids at recess out in this cold, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of parent I would be. It's no secret that I have a temper, but would I really yell at my own kid, like really really yell? I can't see myself doing that. Kids don't understand the concept of right and wrong, they need to be taught, not brought into submission through fear. Would I actually result to such a method?

About an hour later I came across a local gang. I watched them from a distance and took notice of how the older members were using the younger ones to do their dirty work. Some of these kids, 13, 14 years old trying to be down, trying to be thugged out. Watched one of them try to sell to a cop and got nabbed. The rest of his crew just scattered. I couldn't help but wonder where their parents were while this was going on. How could they let their kids roam around and do these things? How could a parent let their kid get so far gone in this lifestyle. Would I be able to have enough influence on my kid to keep him or her away from this, or would I just end up pushing my kid towards it?

Later that afternoon I ended up in Brooklyn, off of Linden Blvd. I walked past Brookdale hospital and saw a teenage couple going in. As I walked by I could see she was in tears, heard him tell her that "This is best for both of us. I'm just not ready to be a father." As I walked by I thought of Jess. I still couldn't ask her, not if it the thought would hurt her as much is this girl seemed to be hurting. I began to ask myself if we were really too young to be parents. The more I thought about it, the more it pained me.

So I continued walking around Flatbush, eventually coming to Utica Avenue. As I passed by I came across a toy store, looked to be owned by some Koreans. I watched a man and his daughter both of them going through a couple things. She looked up at him and said "How many birthday presents do I get daddy?" He just looked at her with a pleasant smile and replied "Because you're my special princess, you can have any two you want." Here was a man, looked to be about my age, doing what he could as a father, taking care of his responsibility. He must have had her when he was far younger than I am now and seemed to be doing a good job. Could I ever bring myself to be as good a father as he appeared to be.

I hopped on a bus and came across a teenager on his cell. From the sounds of it, he was talking to his mother who must've been ill. I listened to him offer to pick up some medicine from the store after he got off work. As I listened I realized that this kid must have a very strong sense of family. I ended up talking with him a bit on the bus ride. Turns out he never knew his father, he split when he found out his mother was pregnant, so it's just been him and his mom his whole life. He works an after school job to help make ends meet for him and his mother. Told me about his plans for the future. The kid wants to be a programmer, so he can make a lot of money and take care of his mom. Says he's tired of watching her struggle, watching her hurt. I found it hard to believe that this kid didn't succumb to the world around him becoming another bad seed. His mother must've done something right with him, and I told him so. He just laughed. I offered to give him some cash to help him out, must've offended him, he got a bit agitated. Told me he wasn't a charity case. I apologized of course. We talked a bit more before we got to his stop.

It wasn't long before I hopped on the train and started heading home. When I got off the train I walked into a common scene. Police officers had a man on his knees in handcuffs, one of the officers asking him "Why are you out here doing this? What if that guy had a gun?" The guy was already in tears as he yelled back, "What the fuck you expect me to do? I got a 3 kids and a record, ain't nobody gonna hire a nigga like me..." Sadly he was probably right. How is it that people let things get so bad. That man there on his knees had just shown me that every choice I make effects my kid. Everything I do has a consequence whether positive or negative, but now I'm not the only one that feels the effect of that consequence. Now there would be an innocent child in all this.

I made it back to Nth with so many mixed feelings. I've never really wanted to just sit down and cry before then. Out there, before I even entered into Nth, that's exactly what I did. I decided that if were going to keep the baby, I would need to change, I would even look into anger management classes, parenting classes, I would read, I would do whatever it took to be a good father. I still feel like I'm not ready to be one, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't try to be the best dad I could be.

When I realized how late it was, I thought about Jess. Surely she would have told someone by now. Depending on who she talked to, someone might have brought up "that" option. It scared me to think that she might consider it. I couldn't be the one to bring up that option. When I came in, I didn't exactly know what to say or how to react. She pulled me over to the table, I sat and listened. I was so relieved when she said she would not consider abortion as an option, and I know she was glad that I was on the same page. Sindra had been talking to Jess about other options, one of those being cryo-stasis. Jess and I really need to talk about it, but that may be a good option for us. I know I'm not ready to be a father, but part of me really wants this baby now despite what the others think of me. At the same time, I don't want this kid to come out screwed up. Now that we know what our options are, Jess and I have to have a long talk which we will. Still have to talk to the doc as well.

After talking to Jess and Sindy, I had to go talk to Vic. I tried to apologize to him, but he was still bitter about it. Can't say I blame him. While trying to talk to him, other things happened.

Jacob managed to piss of the Queen of Hawaii. What was he thinking trying to hack into her computer, especially with Kalevi there? She went off on him, broke his arms, dislocated his jaw. Can't say he didn't deserve it though. Then it all became about protecting Jess. I know she's Queen of Hawaii, but gods help her if she did something to hurt Jess. Eventually she left. What the hell was she doing here in the first place? And why was Kalevi with her?

Things started to calm down a bit, that is until Jacob showed up again. This time Rogue was going off on him. Now I heard something had happened to Rogue earlier during the day, still don't know the details on that, but she was on edge. Jacob didn't help things much either by running his mouth. I literally had to pull him outside and talked to him. Funny thing about that talk is that I was saying to him what people were saying to me. I'd see my own faults in him. It made more even more self-conscious. After we talked, we went back in... and not even five minutes had passed and he was at it again. It ended up with Leesee being called Turbocunt... which while I find the term funny, his delivery got people mad, again. This time John was called up. As I watched the two of them, it was like watching Vic and myself. Damn it, why'd I have to say that shit to him?

Jacob had left shortly after John, and the X-men had sort of a private meeting while all this was going on. A bit later, I went back to talk to Vic again. Ororo has at least accepted my apology. I still don't know where I stand with Vic. I'm still sorry about what I said, but there's something he needs to understand. I have a temper, we both know that. If I need time to cool off, then let me. Hell, go send me to cool off. Don't hold me back and expect me to keep quiet. It's not who I am. I know it takes practice, but it can't be forced. I just wish he would understand that much.

Tomorrow's probably gonna be another long day. Gotta talk with Jess, and gotta talk with the doc. I hope we could come up with something that would be the best option for us.



Jan 31
11:11
Journal Entry 30



Jess came down to the hangar today and we ended up talking about what we were going to do. Abortion had been ruled out completely and adoption we both agreed would be hard. We also both agreed that we aren't ready to be parents yet, so right now it looks like we're going the cryo-stasis route. Before we come to any decision we both decided that we need to find out what the risks are for both her and the baby. If we felt the risks would be too great, then we are prepared to just have the baby. Well, I wouldn't actually say prepared, but we'll make due. We'll have to. I also didn't want us to rush the decision and she agreed, so we've decided to give find out what the risks, found out how long we have to make a decision, and then take a few days to consider it. One of the things I don't want to have done is to go through with the procedure only to have one of us change our minds within a month or two. This decision is probably one of the most important decisions we'll ever have to make.

I took Jess out for lunch today. We went out to Pitkin Avenue, not too far away from where I grew up. At at a local pizzeria. I had a couple slices, but Jess, OMG... 2 slices, a stromboli and a calzone. I guess it makes sense, she is eating for two now. After that we walked up and down the strip doing some window shopping. Came across a bracelet she liked. I told her I didn't have the money to buy it. I lied. She looked a bit upset, did the whole whiny thing that most girls do. I found it cute. We did a bit more window shopping before I brought her home. Wow, to actually start to call this place home. It feels so weird.

So anyway, after I dropped her off, I went back and picked up that bracelet. Took it to another place and had it engraved saying "Revan and Jessica Forever". Yeah, kinda high school, I know, but I didn't exactly have a chance at high school, at least not fully. After I took care of the bracelet, I went on and did what I told Jess I was gonna do. I went and scoured several junkyards for parts. Took me hours and I still haven't found everything I need. Might have to order the parts I do need, which may take some time if what I need just isn't made anymore.

I came in late last night, ran into Piotr. He helped me to the hangar with that huge box I came in the door with. I like literally had to use my powers to lift it. We talked for a bit and Piotr agreed to put a custom design on my car when I'm done with it. I don't know if I could ever repay him. I mean, a lot of these guys have talent, but Piotr is like an actual artist. This is gonna be so cool.




Feb 1
11:40 PM
Journal Entry 31


It's the first of the month... so grab your checks and come on.... Gotta love that old Bone Thugs n Harmony. I'm like literally just getting up, and I'm about to head down to the hangar again. Something interesting occurred to me. I've been here with these guys for a while now. Still remember my first day here. Been on the run for like a month and got wind of the Marauders. When I first came in, I ran into Harpoon..er..Cody, and Captain America. Made an ass of myself too. That was also the day I met Jess. I remember how she decked me when she found out that I sold her out. Can't say I didn't deserve it. Who would have thought that we would have ended up together, or even be having a kid for that matter. One day I know we're gonna make great parents. Now enough reminiscing, onto other matters.

So, I got a bit too excited last night, so much so that I couldn't sleep. I ended up going back to the hangar and working on the car after I finished last night's journal entry. I think I worked on that car until almost noon. Rear axle and suspension is done, drive train is done, front axle, suspension, steering column, all done. It's all coming along nicely.

When I went to bed, I must've just missed Jess. I wanted to give her the bracelet. Oh well, I can give it to her on our next date. Funny how I've taken her out twice now, but we've only been on one actual date. I'm starting to think maybe Vic and Ororo are right. We really haven't done much as a couple. We really do need to get to know each other better. I have strong feeling for her, but after what they said, I have to ask is it just raging hormones with us? I mean the sex is great, but there's gotta be more to it than just that. I'm gonna start taking her out more often, get to really know her. I just hope that I can still feel the same way I do now with the person she really is. I hope that the person I get to know is someone I could still love. And I hope that she'll feel the same way about me. Okay, that's just scary. I don't like the idea of us being apart or feeling that we might not be right for each other. Why do these thoughts have to come to me now? Guess it's back to work. Nothing like a little elbow grease to clear the old noggin. Better than walking around the city this time of night and in this cold... not that it would stop me, but I just really want to get this car up and running.



Feb 2
11:12 PM
Journal Entry 32


Didn't work on the car much today. Can't get complacent. I took the day to do some reading and some training. Did a lot of that. Been brushing up on my ops, hacking, and cracking skills. Never know when it's gonna be needed again.

Still haven't managed to give Jess that bracelet. Gotta get around to doing that. Talked to her briefly and found out that there was a sentinel attack as well as some incident with a ....demon? Just glad everyone came out of it alright.

Jess want's me to take to the movies tomorrow. If I'm lucky, I can give her the bracelet then. So it's dinner, then we watch Paranormal 2. Dates with her are always good. I learn more about her with each passing day, and that'll help with this kid on the way. I wonder if she realizes the same thing and is trying to get to know me better. Then again, with the memory gaps, it's kind of hard to tell her what I like and don't like. I hope the rest of the memories come back soon.

After I left Nth, I went back to the sim room. Again, can't be complacent. The first run in the room was to work on weapons play, no powers. This second run was to work on the stealth and the things Remy has been teaching me. I seem to be improving, but I'm not quite there yet. I'll get there one day.

Lastly, even though I'm trying to be prepared in case we decide to do this parent thing now, it doesn't look like it's going to happen. I'm starting to get more and more comfortable with the cryo-stasis thing. It's just weird though to think about freezing your kid just to pop him in a microwave a few years later and ding... instant baby. Just plain weird. If this is what Jess wants, than this is what we're going to do. Still, I'm gonna give it a couple more days.



Feb 3
10:47 PM
Journal Entry 33


So, things are becoming a bit routine for me, so I decided to change things up a bit. I did a bit of web surfing today and came across a rather disturbing video. Some bastards somewhere have a mutant captive. It was girl with the ability to turn into some kind of giant cat, possibly a panther or something. I'm now looking into it trying to track it down. I wonder if any of the others had seen the vid.

I needed to clear my mind and went out walking again. I could have worked on the car, but I felt the cold air would do me some good. I totally forgot about my date with Jess. I hope she'll forgive me. When I got back, she was already sleeping. Must've turned in a bit early. Didn't want to wake her so I'm doing this journal now. Once I'm done with this, I'm gonna work on tracking down that video. Hopefully I'll be able to find where it originated from.

I still need to talk to Cody. Need him to negotiate for my friends. I don't like the idea of Kalevi being with Queen Bitch from Hawaii. If he's with her then what about everyone else?

And then there's Vic. I've been giving him his space. Kind of the reason I've been scarce lately. I don't know what to do with that situation anymore. I can't spend my life dwelling on it either. Just wish I knew what he was thinking one way or the other.



Sometime in February
2:27 AM
Journal Entry 34


It's been quite some time since I've put up a journal entry. Funny thing is that I've also lost track of the date. I'll fix that eventually. So what's been happening lately....

About a week ago now, I took Jess out on another date. We were followed. We split up and I sent her back to Nth. The stalker was after me. Turned out he was Weapon X. It was Magus. I never expected to see him again. He told me some interesting things... things that have gotten me thinking twice about going out anywhere. We talked for a while. The first thing he told me was that there's a possibility my healing factor my cease to function. It's funny, but I've never realized it until now just how much I rely on it. I liked being unkillable... but now...

Out of all the mutants tested only a handful had the genetic make-up that would allow them to receive an artificial healing factor. Out of that handful even only 1 out of 10 were able to receive the high grade healing factor. I was one of the lucky ones. Now I'm told that it may go into remission and no one knows why. The only scientists that would know how to fix it I ended up killing on my tirade into the facility. It's funny how karma works. I just hope that bullet in me hurry up and passes through my system before my healing factor wears off... if it wears off. Really don't want to have to trouble Dr. Bhavani to remove it for me.

Moments after Magus told me that, I asked him why he was telling me this. I really wanted to know how he found me, but then again, it's the same for me... how do I find anyone? He told me he owed it to Syn. Syn was Magus twin brother. I guess that's why he came looking for me. He told me that there was a price on my head, going through a lot of the underground mercenary channels. That's when everyone else showed up. There was more I wanted to ask him, but protocol... He won't discuss anything in front of the others.

When I returned to Nth, Sutmaat told me Jess had passed out and was in the infirmary. On top of that he gave some kind of teardrop thing. Said I should talk to Dex or Cody about it, and about that dream. Funny thing is, I had that same exact dream a few days ago. I really need to speak to them about this. Afterward I went to go make sure Jess was okay. Thank goodness she was.

A couple days after that we had some visitors at Nth. Kalevi showed up with the Queens of Rappi Nui and Hawaii. While Kalevi and Ha'akea kept it peaceful, Mai'lani was just as bitchy and evil as she normally was... at least at first. There was something about her though, something that attracted me to her. We talked, albeit surprisingly, but we actually talked. She's a bit rough around the edges, but once you get to know her she isn't that bad. She's actually quite beautiful. I may actually have to work at keeping it in my pants around her. I'm guess I should be grateful that she's not into me. I don't want to mess things up with Jess. I *will* remain faithful. Anyways, later on we ended up watching a vampire flick. Sutmaat picked one out and it was pretty damned good too.

The car is almost done. Gonna put the finishing touches on it tomorrow and finally crank her up. Once it's up and running, I'll let Piotr know so he can start working on the custom design. I'm thinking something along the lines of black roses and/or lightning. It's gonna be beautiful when it's done.

So today was... interesting. The gang was in the hangar playing truth or dare. Never actually played before so I sat and watched. Thank the lady no one picked me to do anything. But damn it, that Janos.... I can't believe he actually kissed me. Even if it was on the cheek, eww. Now I'm comfortable with my sexuality, so if I knew the guy was 100% straight, I would have just went along with it and probably kissed him just to freak him out... ain't no way I'm doing that with a guy who's gay/bi. To each his own, which is what I say, but still. And then he had the nerve to tell me.... about not knowing who it is sucking me off when the lights go out. I swear if it's not Jessica or some other hot chick... hell, she doesn't have to be hot so long as she's a chick. Oh if it's a guy, yeah, he's dead.

Okay, let me calm down. I know the guy had to just be screwing with me. His first choice was Kitty after all... though if you ask me, I think that Asian chick was hotter, but then again, I have a thing for Asians. Actually, I have a thing for dangerous women, which is why I'm still wondering about me and Jess. Weird I know. The girl just has some way of, I don't know... making me smile when I don't want to, and I like seeing her smile. Damn it, how did I let myself become so obsessed with that girl. It better not be because I got her pregnant. There better be more to this than just that. I guess that's why I continue to go forward with these dates, so I can really get to know her.

Getting off track here, the base moved again. I honestly have no clue where the hell we are. I guess I'll find out when I go topside in the morning. And damn it, if I wake up to Janos.... he's a dead man... Only one person gets to play with the morning wood and it's not him.



Feb. 24 (I think)
12: 47 AM
Journal Entry 35


I don't exactly know how I'm supposed to recover from this one. Jessica and I lost the baby in an agent attack. I still blame myself for not being able to protect her. I did everything I could, but it just wasn't enough. Mary Elizabeth did what she could to heal her body, but she just couldn't save the baby. We took it hard... wanted to get revenge. We were denied that opportunity. I'm still wondering had it been anyone else, would they have been denied? Yet I know that I was unstable, we both were. So I can see not being allowed to go on that mission.

I was so pissed off I didn't even notice Jess walked out the door. It wasn't until Cody got on the comm and told Jess to come back did I realize she was gone. I went out there to bring her back. It wasn't safe out there. We were attacked. She got hit with some kind of flesh eating virus thing that speeds up if you have a healing factor. That's twice now I've failed to protect her. I got on the comm and told them what was happening... got ordered to go back to base. Didn't hesitate to follow that order, I needed to get Jess to the infirmary anyway. She lost quite a bit of skin and muscle tissue and had to be put under. Thank goodness for all the healers we have.

The guys tracked down the shooter and took him/her/it out. But in the process, Cody took a head on shot. He vanished. We thought he was dead at first. If it wasn't for Sutmaat, we'd probably still think he is. He's alive, thank goodness, but we won't be able to see him for a while. Despite that fact the rest of the team is still bitter towards Jess and myself. I was about to get into it with Essex... Kitty killed that quickly. After everyone had left, I said a few words to him. I never meant to piss him off, or to continue arguing, but he went off on me anyway. It wasn't until a bit later that Cross came to me and pretty much told me that if I or Jess have one more incident, then we are out. How am I supposed to take that? I know he blames us for what happened, but Cody is still alive. Our child is gone.

I look back on it now and I find it ironic that even though I was insistent on going on the mission... I tried my damned hardest to keep cool, even after Cody denied me. There was no outburst from me, I didn't go flying off. For someone who wasn't in their right frame of mind I think it was a pretty damned good job of self control. Too bad others don't see it that way.

[Revan]

2: 47 AM
Journal Entry 36



My god I don't know what to do anymore. Today something happened between Janos and Jess. I don't exactly know the full details of it, but it ended up with Janos throwing hot tea on Jess. I know Jess well enough to know she isn't gonna take that, so I know she mouthed off. Problem is that Cross has now given us 24 hours to move out. From what I hear, Janos instigated it.

I love her with all my heart, but I first I just thought it was her temper that was the issue. Now I'm finding that there's quite a few underlying problems. Everyone wants her to at the very least take responsibility and acknowledge that she disobeyed a direct order. She on the other doesn't think she did anything wrong. There are quite a few things wrong with this situation.

She tells me she walked off because she felt like she was going to hit someone. I can't fault her for that, not in that state of mind. You can preach all you want about self control, but in that state of mind, not many people can be rational. Not everyone has a strong mind. At the same time, why did it have to be outside. The bunker is huge. There are other places she could have gone.

Then there's the disobeying orders issue. She is not a Marauder, nor a pledge. She hasn't sworn any oath. She's a civilian. Had she not been turned down from being a pledge, that would be an entirely different matter. However, Cody did say it was dangerous out there. Hell, she was better of staying here and punching someone, anyone. Why did it have to end up this way.

I came in trying to calm things down. Mary was talking to Jess. Part of me wished that she would at least listen. It came down to me giving Jess an ultimatum. It hurt me so much to do that. I told her that if she left before I had the chance to fix things, it would be over between us. She agreed to stay. After Mary left I continued talking to her and I agreed to let her stay with Jason until I could talk to Dex. A while later, she left.

I ended up talking to Nathaniel Essex. In his opinion I should let her go. I can't let her go. I don't want to let her go. We continued to talk and we both agree that I need therapy, and that maybe Jess could use some as well. That's when Jason showed up. He was hot headed and refusing to listen to anything. Reminded me of myself, and what I'm trying to change. I can't continue to be hot tempered. It went back and forth for a while, but thank goodness we were able to keep our cool. I'm not sure if that Lucas guy had anything to do with it, but if he did, I'm grateful. After Jason left, I continued to talk to Essex a bit more. He agreed to help me if Cross would allow me to stay. I'm not sure, but the possibility of therapy if Cross puts me out might still be open. Again, I'm not sure.

I went to my room to continue packing just in case. To this day I really don't have much. Just a few changes of clothes. Never really got into getting any personal belongings. After that I called Jess and decided to go see her. It didn't go so well. I got into it with Jason and Jess. It's there I've learned some disturbing things. Apparently someone had suggested capitol punishment for Jess, or that she'd be beaten. I still find it hard to believe that anyone here would go to that extreme. The fact that she said it though... I had to question it. I will be asking questions on the validity of those statements. Then another interesting question arose. Who was on patrol when the agents showed up. Someone is always on patrol, why didn't we get some kind of warning.

Right now it seems like everyone is hell bent on turning me against the other. Essex thinks I should leave Jess, Jess and Jason wants me to leave the Marauders. And I know that if Jess and I stay here, we're gonna be walking on eggshells for a long time. She can't do that. She doesn't want to do that. So long as she's being blamed for Cody, she doesn't want to be in the bunker. Yet I gave my word to Cody, Marauder or not, I'm there to help. As I think about these things, I can't help but wonder what Cody must think. Do you hold it against Jess as well Cody? Or was this all just bad luck. You were just doing what you do right? Trying to save lives right?

Mary said that something bad is going to happen and the thing is that the bunker is the safest place to be. I want her to be there when it happens, but I can't force her to. I have never been more confused about what to do in my life.

Jason said something to me, can't remember what it was now, but I told him that he sounded just like the Marauders. He dared me to say it again, so I did, and he shot me for it... even after I told him my healing factor may be degrading. Still can't believe that bastard shot me. How the hell do you shoot someone and then expect to just remove the bullets and act all buddy buddy. Oh hell yeah I was pissed, but I was pissed at him, not Jess... but somehow she took it as if I was talking to her. She stormed off, I left. Didn't make it very far... damn blood loss. It was Jason that picked me up, brought me back to his place and removed the bullets. It was there that I ended up proving Essex right. Essex said that I'm poison, I hurt everyone around me. And here it was that I ended up doing it again. I couldn't help but laugh at it. It was all I could do to keep from losing it all.

In retrospect, one of Jessica's biggest fears is that the Marauders will change me, change who I am. As if they want to make me some kind of subservient robot. Yes they are militaristic, but that's what got them through everything they've been through. I don't want to stop being who I am any more than she does. I do want to learn to control my temper, and my mouth.

Her second biggest fear... that I would choose them over her. I would be lying if I said that fear wasn't warranted. I don't want to have to choose between them. Unfortunately it's looking like I may have to make that choice. Here I am looking at both sides of the coin. On one hand I have my word which I gave to Cody, yet on the other I have the woman I've come to love. Goddess help me.



March 2nd (finally got back to dating these)
11:52 PM
Journal Entry 37


I was still there at Nth, at the bunker. I've been waiting for a while now to catch Dex in a calmer mood in hopes of talking to him rationally and try to fix things. I fear, however, that there may be no fixing things this time. I don't know what to say to Cross or Jess. So many things just went wrong so fast. There's still a lot of bad air and pain over the losses on both sides. I'm left wondering how long the finger pointing is gonna go on and when will the healing process actually begin.

Something happened earlier today. Kitty called an emergency meeting and a team was assembled to go into Mexico. Volunteers were asked for, but I couldn't bring myself to step forward... not right now, not in this state of mind. I'm left wondering if they would even take me if I did volunteer, or would I have just been kicked out altogether. I found it best to just keep quiet.

There was a small misunderstanding between Scott and Cross about the numbers, nothing significant. I made the mistake of trying to help Scott understand what Cross was saying. Caught myself a little late. Scott lashed out at me about Jess being responsible for Harpoon. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. I expected that kind of remark from one of the Marauders, but him? He had no right. I never did anything to disrespect him or his team. I wanted to snap back. I could have just brought up Emma, but I didn't. That's exactly what everyone wants me to do; lose it so I can finally be out of their hair. I even caught that look from Sutmaat. Sadly that stung even more than Scott's words.

I still look back on that day and wish they had just induced a sleep on Jess and myself, hell dragged us to the well even, anything that would have prevented what happened. After it all went down I saw Essex use his powers to calm Kitty, I heard Dex had been dragged off to the well himself and I can't help but think why couldn't they do that for us? Why wouldn't they do that for us? Why were we meant to suffer and be told to tough it out, fight through our pain? It all just feels so unfair. They aren't the only one that lost Cody. I've lost him as well. Why can't they see that? Why can't they see that I would give my life for any one of them just as easily as I would give my life for Jessica and our child that will never be.

Shortly after Scott's remark Tess came to me and offered to have tea with me. I'm truly grateful to her and indebted to her. She told me that she would always be on my side no matter what because I'm her brother. While I'm happy she said that I also fear for her. I love her like she was my real little sister and I don't want her to get into trouble because of me. I told her I didn't want her to take any sides. I still owe her that cup of tea. Had it not been for Jacob, I would have had that cup.

Speaking of Jacob, it appears Tess may have a crush on him. I caught that look on her face but didn't say anything. I didn't want to call her out on it in front of everyone. I'll save that for a private conversation. I wonder what it is she likes about him.

Now that I think about it, Jacob reminds me a bit of myself. We both have a problem with our mouths, maybe he's not as bad as me with it though. He just doesn't know when to shut up and annoys the hell out of people. At least that's all it is. He probably follows orders better than I do. Well then again I did hear him getting reamed out just like I did once when getting back from a mission. Wonder what he did?

Now he's on a forced sensory blackout due to some magic BS where he's essentially the eyes and ears of some Archmage down in Mexico. Poor guy. I made a couple of suggestions on the situation to Kitty after she overheard us talking. I told her that it was risky, but had to be mentioned. I wasn't gonna say whether or not they should do it. Not my call. Just thought I'd put the option out there. That option was to go see Doom. I heard once that Doom came in second place to Dr. Strange for his position. If anyone can fix this magic thing with Jacob, he's probably the one to see. The other option would be to use the enchantment to our advantage by feeding Jacob false information and putting up a charade with some of us just there to keep up appearances. We would have to keep Jacob in the dark about it all. She said she would consider it.

In the mean time she gave me permission to look into other powerful mages that may be able to help us. Her orders are to locate and locate only. Not to contact. It's an order that I intend to follow to the letter. What I didn't tell her is that I'll be doing my own research as well into how if it's even possible to help Cody recover faster, bring him back sooner. Right now it feels like everything in my life is going down the drain now that he's gone. I want him back, yet I'm afraid that at the same time he might want Jessica gone like the rest of them.

I lose Jess, I lose everything. I keep saying it. I want to believe that she's my whole world. I keep telling myself that I'm doing this for her. Essex had said once that I'm infatuated with her. I don't want to believe that. If I lose her, I lose my sense of purpose, my inspiration, my motivation to be better. I don't want to be alone again.

On the flip side it wouldn't be the first time I've lost everything. It's like when my powers first manifested. There I was all alone... Didn't know who I was, where I was supposed to go, or what my purpose in this world was supposed to be. When I came here I was on the run... had nothing. I don't want to end up that way again.

There's just way too many emotions pent up inside me right now. I really don't know what to do about any of it. It's not good to keep all these emotions bottled up, but letting them out seems to cause me problems. I think I'm gonna spend the night in the Holy and just pray for a solution that would make everyone happy, if there is such a thing. Truth is... part of me gets the sickening feeling that won't be possible. Goddess help me.



Date: Sometime in March
Journal Entry 38
No clue what time it is here


It's been days since I left Nth.. since I've left the States. I wish I could have told someone I was leaving but there was something compelling me not to. It was something I've been feeling ever since being in the well. Why has this compulsion taken me all the way across the globe. What is it that I'm looking for? What is causing me to search. If find myself in here in Paris searching for answers.

The catacombs are dark and filled with the bones of many long gone. There are several corpses that I have found down here that don't belong. From the looks of it they were more recent, probably tourist or archaeologist trying to map out these tunnels. I would likely meet the same fate as these people were it not for my powers and being able to map the area. Still, I can't help but wonder what it is that I'm searching for. Rumor has it that down here is the doorway to one of the many hells of the afterlife. I wonder if that's true. And if it is, is that what I'm searching for? Again I ask what is this compulsion. What is this driving force that is pushing me to seek out something... grand.

My thoughts are back home with Jessica and the others. I haven't spoken to her in over a week by now. She's probably wondering if I made progress with the Marauders. She'll probably get pissed when she finds out I'm no longer there. I miss hearing her voice, seeing her face. I miss being with her. I also miss the guys at Nth, Sutmaat, Jacob, Tess, all of them. I wish I knew how they were doing. Even Dex and Vic and Kitty. I miss them all even if they are still upset with me about Cody. I hope to heaven that they have forgiven what has been done.

It's weird scurrying about down here under the city in pitch black darkness. Every so often I would turn on a flare just to get a look at some pattern on the wall, hoping for some kind of inscription. There was even one time where I heard a noise, but I couldn't sense anything even with a gravi-burst. I'm starting to wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me.

Well, I can't really stay on too much longer. There aren't any outlets down here and the nearest exit is about ten miles back. Gotta conserve power.



Date: Unknown
Time: Ha, your guess is as good as mine
Journal Entry 39


I'll start at the beginning with this as I don't know if I will ever be the same. I don't know how many days have passes since I've been down here in this darkness. My laptop seems to have caught some kind of bug or virus so my date and time thing are screwed up, but that's not important right now. What is important is what has happened to me down here. I don't know how it is that I am even capable of composing myself long enough to do this entry. I pray that my battery life holds out long enough for me to finish this.

While I searched the endless halls of corpses I found a light source. I can't say how deep in I was but I followed it to a large room where torches were lit all over the walls. The room I guess would be the equivalent of a high school gymnasium. There were benches and ornaments, various religious things. Most of them I didn't recognize. The place gave me the creeps and with good reason. Hanging on the walls were corpses, some of them recent. The weird thing about the corpses were the fact that it looked like they'd been skinned alive. Some of them were still gooey looking. I approached the altar were I found a moldy old tome with something written on it. The tome reads:

"...And so it came to pass that the Countess, who once bathed in the rejuvenating blood of a hundred virgins, was buried alive... And her castle in which so many cruel deeds took place fell rapidly into ruin. Rising over the buried dungeons in that god-forsaken wilderness, a solitary tower, like some monument to Evil, is all that remains. The Countess' fortune was believed to be divided among the clergy, although some say that more remains unfound, still buried alongside the rotting skulls that bear mute witness to the inhumanity of the human creature."

As I read the tome I know I've heard it from somewhere. It was then that it came to me. It was the same exact wording from that computer game Diablo or something like that. As I thought about it I pondered if someone had been here before, read the tome and used it as some kind of legend to put in the game. I found it funny at first. In my idiocy I started reading it aloud, mocking the tone it was told in from the game. That's when I heard something behind the altar.

As I moved behind the altar I found a pool of blood. Something stirred within it. I drew my weapon and watched. To my surprise it was a woman, naked and very beautiful, covered in blood from head to toe. I don't know what or how or why but I lowered my weapon and walked into her embrace. I don't know what happened next. When I awoke I found myself chained to the wall unable to move. The pain I felt was searing all over my body. Everything hurt... burned. It was more pain than I could describe. This woman came quickly when she heard my screams of agony, her face was one of complete shock. It was clear that she didn't expect me to live. It was then she spoke, asking me if I was a god or a demon. I told her I was neither one. She didn't believe me for whatever reason saying that no one has ever survived being skinned. I couldn't believe my ears.

She let me down believing that I was some sort of supernatural creature after I started to free myself. I don't know if it was my powers or the fact that she wanted to keep the place intact, but she willingly let me down. It was then that I couldn't believe my eyes. Flesh, blood, veins, muscle tissue, all visible. On the altar was my skin which had been dried out and cut up. This woman was in the process of sowing it together somehow as if she was making some kind of book with it. I would have asked her then and there who she was and why she was doing this but I was too overwhelmed with the pain, so much so that I must have passed out.

When I came to again I was on the altar. Again she was asking me if I was god or demon. Again I told her I was neither. She still didn't believe me saying that only a god or demon could heal from such wounds. Only a god or demon could regrow a heart. She continued to talk believing me to be something supernatural in origin. It was then that I found out she had given herself over to a demon in exchange for beauty and power. She was vague on the details save for the fact that she would not be released from her magical prison for another two thousand years. She then asked me how the world had changed. I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to talk to her. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't seen another human being in days. Maybe it was her beauty that captivated me. Maybe it was her magic. I told her about the world and about mutants. I think the last part was a big mistake. Once she heard that her whole demeanor changed. She knew I was by no means some kind of supernatural being. It must've pissed her off. I guess she thought that if she got on my good side I might free her. That was beyond my power and I was completely under her spell.

Again I was caught under her spell, helpless, like a puppet. Again I passed out and was skinned. This time when I came to she decided to have some fun with me; poking and prodding my skinless body. Every touch was torture. She particularly paid close attention to nerves. It was clear that she had perfected the art of pain. Through the screams and the gasps for breath I could see that she was enjoying this way to much. Again I blacked out. Again I woke up skinless. This happened several times until she had finished her book, a book made completely out of the flesh of... me.

I don't exactly know what was happening but runes started to appear on the pages that were my skin. The book began to speak to her in some language that I couldn't make out and she spoke to it. She then looked to me as if I was some sort of appetizer. At this point I was begging for death. I closed my eyes and gave up all hope of ever returning. It was then that I heard her voice... that sweet familiar voice. It was her... the Lady, in my head telling me that I have to hold on. It's not my time to die and that I have a destiny to fulfill. "Hold on my child and endure." Those were the words that I remember. Those are the words I held on to as I prepared for what would happen next.

After another torture session I awoke to find myself laying on the altar. There was a sadistic smile on the woman as she approached. I couldn't fight her. Due to her magic I couldn't even use my powers. I was hers and hers alone to do with whatever she willed. Her touch felt like a torch, her kiss felt like flames on my lips. I couldn't fight her, I was her puppet. There on that altar and with no skin, suffering excruciating pain, we made love. I can remember screaming out at one point when she.... Through out the whole painful experience all I could do was think of Jessica, let her take my mind to a better place. If only that worked. Somehow she even contaminated my mind. I'm sorry Jess, I'm no longer worthy of you love.

It was sometime later that I awoke, fully healed. I asked her why? I was simply told that a woman has her needs. I get the feeling that there's something more. She then told me that she had placed a dark seed within me. It will consume my soul and become a gateway for demons to emerge. She will only remove the demon seed if I retrieve some artifact for her. This artifact will free her from her prison. What choice do I have. So now I have to travel to China and start my search within the imperial palace depths. It'll take me a few days to get out of here but getting out should be quicker than getting in.

Mother be with me...
Jessica forgive me...



Journal Entry 40

I've made it to China through some rather unsavory methods. No one died so that's the good news. I spent the night at the local inn here and took some time to recuperate. Lord knows I needed it, the physical and mental stress of the past I don't know how many days... the torture, everything. The memories and pain are still fresh in my mind.

Then there's this thing... this dark seed inside me. I can feel it growing. I've noticed that it clouds my mind, fuels my rage some how. It gives me violent tendencies, ones that aren't my own. When I first arrived here I felt the overwhelming urge to kill the innkeeper. What is this thing inside of me? Now it's like I have to fight just to keep control. I also find that it's guiding me to my objective.

How was I supposed to get inside the imperial palace? This was the question going through my mind when I got pick-pocketed. I chased the man through the city and wow, this guy was fast. I finally thought I had him caught in an alleyway. I thought wrong. It was an ambush. Several men had come out all of them armed with clubs and knives. We fought and the whole time I'm fighting them, I'm fighting the urge to kill them. Once the fight was over and they were all unconscious a man approached me. Said he had been waiting for me. I stopped trying to understand how things like this were happening. This was the second time I was expected somewhere I've never been before.

I followed the man to a building, looked almost like a temple of some sort. He started talking, said he knew why I was here and what I had inside me. He spoke of the great evil growing within and that in order for me to come out of this intact, I must endure and not give in, for what I seek is the key to my freedom, it is the key to cleansing this darkness within me. He then spoke of a guild of thieves and assassins. The first thing to come to mind was Remy and his past. Turns out this guild was similar yet so completely different. They said they served some kind of goddess, but I can't pronounce the name. They told me that I carry the fire, but it is being extinguished and would have been a long time ago had I not embarked on this journey. The fact that they too believe in the fire sent chills down my spine. It was like a revaluation. They told me they can help me get into the palace and the palace depths, but once there I may face some trials. We leave in about 3 hours.

I had hoped that Jessica would call or at least leave me some kind of message. Then again I've been away for a while and she's been staying with Jason... alone. I'm starting to suspect that maybe they've gotten together in my absence. Maybe it's for the better. I don't know why those thoughts even popped into my head. Maybe it was just some left over fear from when Essex mentioned that her and Jason would be perfect for each other. I can't help but wonder if that's true. Damn it, this isn't something I need to be thinking of right now. Three hours till nightfall. Three hours till we head out. Mother if this is your will, then guide me and help me accomplish what it is that you need me to do.



Journal Entry 41


We made it into the Imperial Palace through a secret passage. From there getting to the basement wasn't difficult at all thanks largely in part to Remy's training. If it wasn't for him, keeping up with these guys would have been far more difficult and we likely would have been forced to take on some guards.

Once we reached the lowest level of the palace, or what I thought was the lowest level, we found another hidden passage leading us further down. We followed it for what seemed like hours. The passage was also rigged with many traps. By the fourth hour there were only 3 out of the eight of us left. Then we came across our first test.

We entered a large room with some kind of wheel with an arrow pointing to the door we came in. Beside the wheel was a lever. There were three other doors, each with an inscription. The inscriptions translated into Self, Father, and Emperor respectively. On the wheel the inscription translated to "The honorable man takes the life of..." I know the Japanese believe in harikiri or seppaku, but this wasn't Japan. No honorable man would dare attempt to take the life of the emperor or at least that's what I would think, so I rationalized that it would be the father. Then my western teachings and what little I knew of faith had me remember something about honor thy mother and father. Luckily one of those men had studied Confucius. He told us that an honorable man honors the emperor, his father, and his friend in that order. Now that's paraphrasing of course but that's what he said. So the honorable man would take the life of self before the others. We began to turn the wheel, stopping at the door with self inscribed on it and pulled the lever. The door opened up to reveal another lever. We approached and pulled this new lever and watched as a fourth hidden door opened.

We followed this new path until we were led to yet another room and yet another puzzle. The first was to test our honor, this second one was to test our mind. In this room was a fountain, on its edge were 3 vases, one large, 2 smaller. Above them was some sort of scale with a medium vase already filled with something. For all we knew it could be water, it could be sand. The inscription said "To proceed all must be equal in four parts. Four parts made from 3 parts, 3 parts, and 5 parts." It was a puzzle of weights and measures. Unfortunately one of the men thought he was slick, he tried to push the scale down and hold it even. It didn't work. The floor gave way and we all started to fall. I managed to save myself and one other, but the guy that set off the trap, I wasn't fast enough to save him. Funny how all I could think about was law 12. Act with alacrity, but never in haste. Being hasty got him killed. I was there now hovering above the spiked ground as we worked to figure out the puzzle. It took us a while to figure out that the 2 jars could hold 3/5 of water as the larger jar. Once we found that out, the rest was a cakewalk or so I thought. Another door had opened up and a floated us over to it. The damage had been done however and the prolonged use of my power had brought IT on again.

The sickening feeling came over me and I dropped to my knees. That spark started to come forth. I knew it was the death ball coming. If it came forth and destroyed whatever it was that I was looking for, my soul would be lost to this seed of evil that now resides within me. I couldn't let that happen. Not to mention the life of this man and possible many others. I fought to hold on, to maintain control. I remember seeing Han, the last guy left, looking on with absolute dread not knowing what to make of this situation. There was no way for him to get back without me and who knew what dangers lie ahead of us. All he could do was watch as I fought on. The dark ball started to expand, engulfing us, but still I fought, moving one knee upward and putting a foot on the ground, then pushing myself up to stand. That dark energy core flickered as I reached out and grabbed it. I felt my body burning, as if every cell in my body was about to explode. Just then the ball receded, it went into the core and the core itself expanded looking almost like a vortex. What it was exactly I do not know, nor did I care to find out at that time. Finally, just as quickly as it had appeared, it had vanished.

The whole ordeal had left me in a weakened state, so much so that Han had to help me to walk for a while. Finally we decided to sit and take a rest. When I awoke Han told me that a day had passed. I still can't believe it took me a whole day to recover from whatever that was. At least now I know I can stop the death ball if I have to. Han and I continued on.

We came to another chamber, the inscription on the door translated to "The Two Judgments" Cautiously we entered to find two statues, both the heads of Chinese dragons, one with rubies for eyes, the other emeralds. These dragons had their mouths wide open with the throats exposed revealing some kind of switch that looks like it needs to be pulled. We examined what we could of the statues before we felt we were left with no other choice but to pull the switches. I pulled mine first and nothing happened. Han then pulled his and again nothing. It wasn't until we pulled at the same time did the mouths of the dragons snap close entrapping our arms. We could hear the sound of gears and wood moving about before a panel opened up and two rope switches hung from the ground near each of us. Each of us had a pair of switches and on the panel read something that roughly translated into "give or take." I've watched enough movies to know what was about to happen. I can take Han's arm to save my own, or I can lose mine to save his. The funny thing is we both had to make the choice, we both had ropes to pull. I knew my arm would grow back thanks to my healing factor, so I was the first to make the choice, choosing the red rope since the dragon my arm was stuck in had the ruby eyes. Once I made my selection, we both heard a loud click as if something was unlock. I however was still trapped. We reasoned that like the first test, it's about self sacrifice and that maybe he should choose his own arm as well. I could see he was very paranoid and very skeptical about the whole thing. We talked it over for the better part of an hour. I don't know what he was thinking, but he eventually panicked, grabbing both ropes and was about to pull them both. That sight of fear and desperation hurt me to watch.

He finally pulled a rope. Luckily for us it was the right one. Our arms were free and intact and a slab of stone moved to reveal a set of stairs heading down. We followed the stairs and it lead us to an enormous room where various statues stood, all of them solid gold. There were tapestries, various ancient urns and pots, and gold statues, plates and the like. I looked up to the ceiling and there was nothing but darkness and shadows. The room itself was dimly lit by torches so besides what was obvious, the rest of the room was obscured by shadow.

There was a pedestal at the other end of the room where something was glimmering. What it was I couldn't tell at first. As we approached we could hear something moving, shifting in the shadows. Then from up high we heard a voice It asked us in a loud booming voice "What have you come for?" Han was the first to answer saying that he wanted to be a legend. When he said out of the shadow came a head... the head of a dragon, much like the one that held our arms not so long ago. The dragon's eyes glowed a bright yellow as he said to Han that he wants to become a legend to use his fame for evil and selfish deeds. Then he said to Han that he has had his trial and had been judged and his sentence was death. Then Han just dropped dead. I didn't understand the whole thing but I was about to find out as I was asked what I have come for.

I answered honestly, I told the dragon that I don't know what I have come for. I'm here letting my spirit mother guide me, to what end I do not know. His eyes lit up and I was no longer in my body. I was somewhere else. I don't know how to describe the place, it was all mist and smoke. I stood there hearing a voice telling me I will now be judged. I heard a voice say let all that believe this man should loose his life come forth. There in the midst, I had seen every person who's life I had taken. It was a long line of people, men, women, children. Most were mutant, some weren't. I even saw the crew of that news chopper there. It was obvious to me that I didn't stand a chance. I could have sworn it was over for me.

Then the question was asked if I should be let to live and if so on what merit. It there that Syn stepped forward out of the mist and spoke on my behalf. He spoke of me leaving Weapon X and that life behind. They argued that just because I had left that life doesn't mean I'm not accountable for the damage I've done. I couldn't disagree with that argument. Then another person stepped forward. It was a young woman, dark haired, familiar, yet I know I've never seen this girl before. She spoke up about me changing and now trying to save lives starting with the nuke that would have hit Greenwich, then my efforts with the tidal wave. She then spoke about the internment camps. Who was this girl and how did she know all this? How did she know me? She looked to me with a warm smile and told me before she vanished that I wasn't ready, the time wasn't right, but if all went well, I would see her again in the future. I still can't shake the feeling I know her, but I know I've never met her.

The voice then asked if anyone was swayed and thought I was worth redeeming. To my surprise a good number of the mutants had moved over to the side of letting me be redeemed. Then a final person had stepped forward out of the mist. I could never have expected this in a million years. The Lady herself had stepped forward saying that I am hers and she has need of me, that I was there by her will and have a task to complete. I can't exactly say that she said those in words, but somehow I had that understanding, that clarity of what was being said though it was spoken in a voice that wasn't exactly earthly. It was something beyond my capability to describe. She then vanished into the mist.

The mist cleared and I was back in the room staring at the dragon. "One greater than I has spoken. Take the crescent tear, it will guide you to what you seek." It was a teardrop that had the appearance of glass, but with some kind of glow to it. It had a piece of string going through it, but no hole could be seen where the string would go through. It was the most remarkable piece of jewelry I had ever seen, yet it was so much more. I took the precious object and hung it around me neck. Soon afterward the dragon had blown a cloud of smoke my way. When the smoke cleared the room, I was back here, at the inn.

After everything that has happened to me, the appearance of the Lady, for her to intercede on my behalf, I owe her my life. No, I owe her more than that. I made a vow this day to serve the Lady, my mother, as she sees fit.



Journal Entry 42
March 28
1:23 PM


I'm in Rome, just outside of Vatican City. I've been here for several days now watching, waiting, noting guard changes and weaknesses in the defense of the Vatican. This tear drop thing has led me here. Whatever it is I am looking for is here.

A few days ago I attempted a trial run and came across something interesting. I saw a guy that didn't quite look right. In tailing him I found some secret meeting. It turns out that some of those secret sects that aren't supposed to exist outside of myths do exist. I'm not really sure which faction this is, but they made comment of thanking the papers for spreading rumors of their existence and discrediting them due to suspense books and great fiction novels. One was even crediting the Da Vinci Code as helping their cause.

Currently I won't be taking any action for a few days. I still need to gather more information. I've been taking this down time to reflect on things, where I have gone wrong and the such. One thing I've noticed is that I have been too easily blinded by emotions as of lately. That's easily traced back to Carmilla and just continued from there. I've been working a lot lately on keeping a level head in hopes that it would serve me better in the future. I can't afford to let emotions cloud my judgment. Not only that, but I tend to say things I don't mean to say. I've done it way too many times.

On the flip side I also need to accept that people can and will disagree with me. However, just because they disagree doesn't mean that they or I am right. Only that we have different points of view on the same matter. I try to look at all views and go with what I feel is right. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I believe you should never ignore your gut feeling. Last time I ignored a feeling, a squad member got killed. No, wait, last time I ignored a feeling... Cody vanished.

I keep thinking about Jess and what she's been doing. The fact that she never bothered to message me back disturbs me. I can't help but wonder if she moved on. I can't blame her if she did. I just hope that where ever she is that she is happy.

There are some other people on my mind as well. I haven't really spoken to Victor in almost 2 months, ever since we had that fall out. I tried to apologize but it didn't go so well. Sutmaat. How are you doing? I miss you as well Tess. I hope you're doing well and have come out of your shell a little more. I wonder if Jacob has let his mouth get him into trouble again. He's like my mini-me only not as bad, at least I hope. I never thought I would miss the gang at Nth this much, but I do. Hell, I even miss John's foul mouth and goddess help me, his release of noxious gasses. Can't help but wonder if I'd be welcomed with open arms or would I be shunned because of what's happened. I guess only time will tell.

[Revan]

WEEDZ from TWF's One in a Million game using the 2.0 rules.


TOTAL COST: [40w] Not including flavor actions

CHARACTER NAME: Kevin Sullivan
SECRET IDENTITY: WEEDZ
SPECIES: Mutagenic
GENDER: Male
HAIR: Green
EYES: Green
HEIGHT: 5'9
WEIGHT: 154 lbs
Age: 16
Faction: None
Identity: Public/Private - Only thing he's hiding is the fact that he has powers, at least for now.


Origin
=====================================================================

"And our headline story. A scientist, one Robert Burton, was arrested today for allegedly conducting illegal experiments in a greenhouse on the lower east side. Our sources say that testing has been done on many dangerous and endangered plants and animals as well as stockpiling many illegal chemicals and narcotics. Due to all the volatile materials, our sources say that it will take days, maybe even weeks to find out what kind of testing was being conducted..."

"Dude, we should break in there tonight. We'll have one hell of a bash before you move dude. I bet there's still a boat load of green in there and then some."

"I don't know man, the cops are gonna be crawling all over the place."

"Chillax man, my uncle's a cop, if we get caught we'll just say we were there to see him. It'll be easy as pie. Not to mention, he's gotta have some killer green. Hell, he'll probably even have that new Pineapple Express there."

"Pineapple Express? Dude, why didn't you say so. Let's go"

Later that night, two boys broke into a laboratory. Ignoring the police lines and do not cross tape, they entered the facility. After looking around aimlessly, the finally stumpled across something interesting. "Hey, look, there's some freaky plant in this room. It's got some weird tank hooked up to it, looks like it's pumping some kind of gas in there. And hey, look, there's a label. Spess---Spesss--Specimen 0285."

"Let me look at that. Hey, here's a clipboard. Specimen 2085. Genetically altered plant capable of producing greenhouse gases with mutagenic properties. I wonder what that means. Screw it, it's not what we're looking for. Hey let's keep looking."

"Wait, hold on one sec. Dude, I wonder what would happen if we smoked some of this plant. It's gotta have some kind of kick to it. Here hold this while I try it."

30 minutes later....

"Dude I can't believe we are this stoked after like one hit."

"Yeah, man, I can finally move without falling"

"You fell?"

"I floated. It was like a feather or something really light, that doesn't fall....like a bubble or one of those clowns that rides that bike with one wheel on the rope. You never see those guys fall."

"We should see if there's more of this plant around somewhere. If not, we'll come back and take the rest of this one."

"Yeah, let's split up. I'll go upstairs."

"WHO'S THERE?"

"Quick, hide."

"Hey, wait, don't go in there, he'll probably smell the smoke"

"Charlie two five, we got noises at the south end of the building, request back up."

As the officer moves in closer, one boy dashes from his hiding spot. As he takes off running he is immediately being pursued by the officer on duty. The other kid however is still in the room with the plant, breathing in the unnatural greenhouse gasses of the plant he just smoked.

"Go, get out. It's not safe for you here. The doctor has a fail safe system which will explode soon if he is not here to enter the code."

The boy looks around curiously to see where the voice is coming from, but he sees nothing. Nothing but a weird looking plant that he had just been smoking only 30 minutes earlier.

"You must hurry, there is very little time."

"Who are you. Where are you?"

"There is not time to explain, you must get out now."

After hearing the constant warnings the boy thought that maybe it would be a good idea to leave as fast as he could. He exited the room and decided to make his way back out of the facility. Unfortunate for him, he ran into some more police.

"Hey, we got another one. What do you want to do with him?"

"Take him inside with the other one. Well question them bo-"

KABOOOOM

The explosion sent the cops to the ground, giving the boy a chance to escape. When he got home, he quickly grabbed his cell phone and started to call his friend to let him know he was alright, but his friend's cell phone kept ringing. The next morning a news report came on. The topic was the explosion at that greenhouse laboratory. Among the dead were 5 police officers and one 15 year old boy who's identity would not be revealed. Kevin knew all too well who the dead boy was. Distraught over the loss of his friend, Kevin went out for a walk to think about things. Unknown to Kevin, as he walked by, the plants and flowers all seemed to wilt as if sensing his emotion and weeping along with him. His walk took him to the neighborhood park, to a tree off to the side of the baseball field were he would often climb and nap on its branches. This particular time, he sat there feeling lonely and cold. As he lay his back against the tree, he could almost feel himself being embraced and hugged by the tree. As he sat there leaning back on the tree with his eyes closed, he slowly disappeared into the tree, It was there inside the tree, as if in a dream, did he come to realize his powers. It was as if someone was telling him, but who. The voice in his head was unlike anything he had ever heard before...except that one time, in the laboratory. Later as he emerged from the tree, still grieving, yet feeling a sense of revitalization, he decided to return home and prepare to pack for his family's big move.

Upon returning home he passed by a mirror and noticed something different about himself. It was his hair. His hair was all green. His eyebrows, his arm pits, he even checked in his underwear, all green. Even his eye color have become green. At first it was a shock to his system. But after his father came by and gave his approval (brushing it off as a phase) he decided to go with it. "A new look for a new life." Two days later, he was moving.


[ABILITIES] [9w,2r]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: 2 (0w, 2r)
STRENGTH: 1 (0w, 1r)
AGILITY: 3 (1w)
SPEED: 1 (0w, 1r)
DURABILITY: 4 (2w)
E.Pool 4 (2w)
ENERGY: 20
REGENERATION: 5 (3w)

WEALTH: 1 (0w,1r)



[ACTIONS] [28w,1r]
=========================

Combat - Close 2 (2r)
-agility bonus
-street fighting
-dirty tactics

ForceBlast 4 (6w) Razor leaf/toxic thorns/seed-vine snare
-Area Effect or 2x Dmg
-Can entangle instead of dmg +1
-Forceblast Options -2

Limited Herbalism 3 (1w) Flavor Action - Think Method Man in How High
-Herbal Remedies
-Herbal Theories

Limited Inventing 3 (1w) Flavor Action
-Drug paraphernalia
-Master Bong Builder/Pipe Builder
-Improvised Bong/Pipe Building

Mastery of Plants 5 (20w)
-(Mastery) Create/Manipulate Element +1
-Unlimited Mastery +4
-Can talk to Plants +1

Social Skills 2 (2r)
-Pop Culture
-Streetwise

Web-Slinging 3 (1w)



[MODIFIERS] [2w]
=========================

Reflexive Dodge 1 (2w)



[CHALLENGES] [+10w]
=========================

Looking non-human (+2) Green Body Hair/eyes

Elemental sensitivity (+3) Weak vs Fire

Shunned by Peers (+1) New kid in town, Because he has the whole goth/emo thing going, green hair (which they believe he dyed for his look), and a few piercings, people tend to stay away from him.

Adolescent (+1)

Addiction (+1) Functioning Pothead

Compulsion to stick up for the underdog (+1) Strangely, he helps people being bullied, although once people see that he's the one helping, they tend to be more afraid of him than the person they were being bullied by. Possibly because they believe he may be gang related or some sort of drug dealer.



[EQUIPMENT] [0w]
=========================

Lighter

Skateboard

Rolling Papers

Cell phone

Swiss Army Knife +1
-Adds +1 to Limited Inventing

[Revan]

TOTAL COST: [30w]

CHARACTER NAME: Brian Warren Worthington
SPECIES: Human/Mutant
GENDER: Male
HAIR: Black
EYES: Purple
HEIGHT: 5'10
WEIGHT: 127 lbs



[ABILITIES] [9w, 1r]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: 3 (1w)
STRENGTH: 2 (0w, 2r)
AGILITY: 3 (1w)
SPEED: 2 (0w, 2r)
DURABILITY: 4 (6w)

HEALTH: 4
ENERGY: 12
REGENERATION: 6

WEALTH: 1 (1r)



[ACTIONS] [14w]
=========================

Combat - Close 3 (2w)
-Agility Bonus/Weapon Modifier
-Martial Arts
-Bladed Weapons
-Improvised Weapons

Flight 6 (3w)
-(Flight) Fits with main power
-Max Speed 5
-Mas Speed 2 when carrying others

Mastery of Shadow 4 (3w)
-(Mastery) Create/Manipulate Element

Shadow-Weapon 4 (4w) as Psi-Weapon
-Takes extra time to prepare (takes one panel to shape/form)

Social Skills 3 (1w)
-Charm/Flirt
-Sarcasm
-Persuasion

Telepathy 5 (2w)
-(Telepathy) Empathy
-Power out of control



[MODIFIERS] [6w, 1r]
=========================

Precognitive Flashes 0 (0w, 1r)

Reflexive Dodge 2 (3w)

Vision, Enhanced 3 (2w)
-(Vision) See in darkness
-(Vision) Telescopic

Rapid Regen (1w)



[CHALLENGES] [+10w]
=========================

Being a mutant (+3)

Angst (+1)

Looking non-human (+2) like his father, he sports a pair of wings... though black in color

Dark Side/Rage (+2) There is a darker side to his persona that he tries to keep hidden. It tends to come out from time to time and when it does, most people become very leery of the things he says.

Chronic disease or condition (+2) Brian is prone to migraines causing him to wear prescription sunglasses. Whether the migraines are due to his telepathic powers has yet to be determined.



[EQUIPMENT] [0w]
=========================
Droid Cell Phone

Sunglasses

Laptop

PSP



==================================================


Brian is the son of Angel and Psylocke. His mutation was noticeable at birth seeing as he was born with black wings. He has been enrolled at Xavier's due to his parents' prior experience there and they feeling it would be the best place for him. Somehow he is connected to the Crimson Dawn dimension and has the ability to control and solidify shadows. Along with this he is able to take on a shadow-like form. Recently Brian has developed some semblance of telepathy in the form of picking up on peoples emotions. He has yet to learn to control these empathic powers. There is a strong possibility that he may also be a precog.

[Revan]

Andrew Carter - Transformers: Paradox Origin
=========================

TOTAL COST: [25w, 2r]

CHARACTER NAME: Adam Carter
SPECIES: Human
GENDER: Male
HAIR: Brown
EYES: Brown
HEIGHT: 5'11
WEIGHT: 162 lbs

Adam Carter is combat vet who lost the use of he legs when he was shot down in Afghanistan. Since then he's been instructing combat pilots on maneuvers and such until he was approached with an offer that may allow him to serve and defend his country once again, an offer that he readily jumped at.



[ABILITIES] [9w, 1r]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: 4 (2w)
STRENGTH: 2 (0w, 2r)
AGILITY: 1 (0w, 1r)
SPEED: 1 (0w, 1r)
DURABILITY: 3

HEALTH: 3 (1w)
ENERGY: 4/12 (2w)
REGENERATION: 5 (3w)

WEALTH: 0 (0w)



[ACTIONS] [16w, 1r]
=========================

Black Ops/Spying 4 (3w)
-Intel
-Survival behind enemy lines
-Identify Key Targets
-Interogation

Combat - Close 2 (0w, 2r)
-Strength Bonus
-Hand to Hand
-Improvised Weapons

Combat - Ranged 2 (0w, 2r)
-Weapon Modifier
-Small Arms
-Rifle

Computers 5 (3w)
-Int Bonus

General Knowledge 1
-Cybertron

Social Skills 4 (2w)
-Military Protocal
-Smart Mouth
-Flirt
-Gather Information

Technology 5 (4w)
-Int Bonus

Vehicle Operation 5 (3w)



[MODIFIERS] [0w]
=========================



[CHALLENGES] [+6w]
=========================

Being restricted in movement (+5) Can no longer walk.

Psychological; per symptom (+1) Depression due to his injury and losing the use of his legs.



[EQUIPMENT] [0w]
=========================

Wheelchair


==================================================



[DESCRIPTION]
=========================

TOTAL COST: [50w]

CHARACTER NAME: Guardian
SECRET IDENTITY: Robot Mode
SPECIES: Cybertronian



[ABILITIES] [14w]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: (0w)
STRENGTH: 3 +6 (1w)
AGILITY: 4 (2w)
SPEED: 4 (2w)
DURABILITY: 5

HEALTH: 5 (3w)
ENERGY: 5/15 (3w)
REGENERATION: 5 (3w)

WEALTH: 0 (0w)



[ACTIONS] [14w]
=========================

Combat - Close 4 (2w)
-Free Option, Ability Bonus/Weapon Modifier

Combat - Ranged 5 (3w)
-Free Option, Ability Bonus/Weapon Modifier

Flight 4 (3w)
-(Flight) Fits with main power

Repair 6 (6w) as healing
-Medical




[MODIFIERS] [19w]
=========================

Reflexive Dodge 2 (3w)

Targeting 4 (9w)

Toughness 2 (3w) + 2 Toughness Vs. Voyager, +4 Vs. Scout, +6 Vs. Human

Vision, Enhanced 3 (4w)
-(Vision) Infrared
-(Vision) See energy patterns
-(Vision) See in darkness
-(Vision) Telescopic



[CHALLENGES] [+0w]
=========================



[EQUIPMENT] [3w]
=========================

Gun pod Rifle 5 (3w)
-Automatically causes collateral damage



==================================================



[DESCRIPTION]
=========================

TOTAL COST: [45w, 1r]

CHARACTER NAME: Guardian
SECRET IDENTITY: Jet mode



[ABILITIES] [11w]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: (0w)
STRENGTH: 2 +6 (0w, 2r)
AGILITY: 3 (1w)
SPEED: 1 (0w, 1r)
DURABILITY: 3 (9w)

HEALTH: 5 (3w)
ENERGY: 5/ 15 (3w)
REGENERATION: 5 (3w)

WEALTH: 0 (0w)



[ACTIONS] [8w, 1r]
=========================

Combat - Close 1 (0w, 1r)
-Speed Bonus/Weapon Modifier

Combat - Ranged 4 (2w)
-Weapon Modifier
-Gun
-Missile Volley
-Multiple targets

Flight 8 (6w)
-(Flight) Fits with main power
-Can't be improved by adding lines



[MODIFIERS] [17w]
=========================

Reflexive Dodge 4 (6w)

Targeting 2 (4w)

Toughness 2 (3w) + 2 Toughness Vs. Voyager, +4 Vs. Scout, +6 Vs. Human

Vision, Enhanced 3 (4w)
-(Vision) Infrared
-(Vision) See energy patterns
-(Vision) See in darkness
-(Vision) Telescopic



[CHALLENGES] [+0w]
=========================



[EQUIPMENT] [9w]
=========================

Mini-missiles 5 (9w)
-Area Effect
-Automatically causes collateral damage



==================================================



[DESCRIPTION]
=========================

TOTAL COST: [47w]

CHARACTER NAME: Guardian
SECRET IDENTITY: guardian mode




[ABILITIES] [16w]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: (0w)
STRENGTH: 3 (1w) +6
AGILITY: 5 (3w)
SPEED: 5 (3w)
DURABILITY: 5 (9w)

HEALTH: 5
ENERGY: 15
REGENERATION: 5

WEALTH: 0 (0w)



[ACTIONS] [10w]
=========================

Combat - Close 3 (1w)
-Strength Bonus/Weapon Modifier


Combat - Ranged 5 (3w)
-Weapon Modifier
-Rifle
-Missile Volley

Flight 6 (6w)
-(Flight) Fits with main power



[MODIFIERS] [17w]
=========================

Reflexive Dodge 6 (12w)

Toughness 2 (3w) + 2 Toughness Vs. Voyager, +4 Vs. Scout, +6 Vs. Human

Vision, Enhanced 3 (2w)
-(Vision) Fog or smoke
-(Vision) Infrared



[CHALLENGES] [+0w]
=========================



[EQUIPMENT] [4w]
=========================

Mini-Missiles 4 (4w)
-Area Effect
-Automatically causes collateral damage



==================================================

[Revan]

Noritomo Ryoske
XP: 0/75

Rank/Insight: 1/136
Clan: None
Family: None
School: None
Initiative:

Honor: 3.5
Glory: 1.0
Status: 0.0

Armor TN = 20 + 5 DR=3

Rings
Air (3) [Increase = 4x New Rank Number]
-Awareness 3
-Reflexes 3

Earth (3) [Increase = 4x New Rank Number]
-Stamina 3
-Will Power 3

Fire (2) [Increase = 4x New Rank Number]
-Agility 2
-Intelligence 2

Water (2) [Increase = 4x New Rank Number]
-Strength 2
-Perception 2

Void (2) [Increase = 6x New Rank Number]
Void Points:

Skills:
Investigation/Perception 1
Lore: Gaijun Culture/Intelligence1
Medacine/Intilligence 2
Perform: Flute/Agility 1
Sincerity/Awareness 1
Athletics/Strength 1
Iaijutsu/Reflexes 2
Kenjutsu/Agility 4
*Craft: Explosives/Intelligence 1
Sleight of Hand/Agility 1
Stealth/Agility 1

Wounds: 0/57 Healthy 15 Nicked 6 Grazed 6 Hurt 6 Injured 6 Crippled 6 Down 6 Out 6


Techniques


Equipment
Light Armor
Tattered Clothing
Daisho
Traveling Pack


Advantages:
Precise Memory (3 points)
-You have an incredible ability to recall exactly things you
have seen or heard. In any situation where you need to remember
something exactly the way it was, whether the wording
of something you read or the details of a person’s physical
appearance, you add a bonus of +1k1 to your Intelligence
Trait Roll.

ELEMENTAL BLESSING [SPIRITUAL] (4 POINTS) Earth
You are much beloved by the kami of a particular element, although
you know not why that might be. As a result, the cost
of increasing the Traits associated with one particular Ring,
chosen when this Advantage is purchased, is decreased by
1. For example, if you choose Earth when you purchase this
Advantage, the cost of increasing Stamina and Willpower is
reduced by 1 Experience Point every time you increase them.
Void may not be chosen for this Advantage. Phoenix characters
may purchase this Advantage for 3 points.

FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE [MENTAL] (5 POINTS)
Gaijin Pepper: You possess fi rsthand knowledge of
gunpowder, both how to create it and how to use it.
You gain one rank in Craft: Explosives, and possess a
small pouch of gaijin pepper that you may carry with
you if you so choose.


Disadvantages

SOCIAL DISADVANTAGE [SOCIAL] (3 POINTS) Ronin
You have slipped from your position within the Celestial Order,
and your place in society refl ects that. You begin with
Status Rank 0.

TOUCH OF THE VOID [SPIRITUAL] (3 POINTS)
You have been touched by the essence of the Void, and it has
forever damaged your mind. Whenever you draw upon the
Void, the effect is powerful, but can overwhelm you. When
you spend a Void Point to augment a roll, you gain a bonus
of +2k1 instead of +1k1. Every time you spend a Void Point,
however, you must succeed at a Willpower Trait Roll (TN 30)
or be Dazed for one Round. This Disadvantage is worth 4
points to Phoenix characters.

LORD MOON’S CURSE [SPIRITUAL] (3 POINTS)
The madness of Lord Moon, Onnotangu, lingers in your soul,
driving you to fi ts of madness despite your increased understanding
of the universe. You gain an additional Void Point at
sunset on any night of the full moon. If you do not use this
Void Point, it is lost with the sunrise. However, when the full
moon rises, you must make a Willpower Trait Roll against
TN 15 +5 for each level in this Disadvantage after the fi rst.
If you fail the roll, you lose control of your character for the
evening. You awaken the next morning with no idea what
atrocious acts you might have committed…

FASCINATION [MENTAL] (1 POINTS) Music
You are completely fascinated by some subject, and will go to
great lengths to learn more about it or to experience it in new
ways. Typical subjects of a samurai’s fascination include music,
horses, poetry, and history. This fascination badly impedes
your judgment, and you will take even dishonorable actions
to learn more, which could end in absolute disgrace if your
actions are discovered.

[Revan]

Xander


[DESCRIPTION]
=========================

TOTAL COST: [20w]

CHARACTER NAME: Xander
Real Name: Chrono St. Claire
SPECIES: Technocratic Union
GENDER: Male
HAIR: Dark Brown
EYES: Left: Green / Right: Green, Flashing Green when in a special mode (infrared/nightvision/etc.)
HEIGHT: 6'
WEIGHT: 186



[ABILITIES] [10w]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: 4 (2w)
STRENGTH: 2 (0w, 2r)
AGILITY: 2 (0w, 2r)
SPEED: 2 (0w, 2r)
HEALTH: 3 (1w)
ENERGY Pool: 12 (2w)
REGENERATION: 5 (3w)



[ACTIONS] [12w]
=========================

Free Running 3 (1w) as acrobatics
-Strength Bonus

Black Ops/Spying 4 (3w)
-Assassination
-Corporate Espionage
-Escape
-Infiltration

Combat - Close 3 (1w)
-Agility Bonus/Weapon Modifier
-Hidden Blade
-Hand to Hand
-Improvised Weapons

Combat - Ranged 3 (1w)
-Weapon Modifier
-Hand Cannon
-Pistol

Arm Integrated Weapons Package or AIWP-Weapon 2 (1w) As Psi-weapon
-Can't be improved by adding lines
-Only through other Action/Modifier
-Hidden Wrist Blade/retractable
-Hand Cannon housed inside the forearm, blast comes from palm of the right hand.


Social Skills 4 (2w)
-Persuasion
-Flirt
-Gather Information

Technology 3 (2w)

Vehicle Operation 3 (1w)



[MODIFIERS] [5w]
=========================

Reflexive Dodge 2 (3w)

Vision, Enhanced 3 (2w) Right Eye Only
-(Vision) Infrared
-(Vision) See in darkness



[CHALLENGES] [+7w]
=========================

Looking non-human (+2)
-At first glance one would think him a normal human, but when you look closely you can see that he has that one cybernetic eye doctored up to look as close to human as possible. However, the fact that if flashes every so often is a dead giveaway.

Elemental sensitivity (+3)
-Electricity does 2x Dmg and temporarily shorts out cybernetics

Chronic disease or condition (+2)
-The right arm is a prototype that still has a few bugs in it causing it to malfunction from time to time. Sometimes it would stop functioning for a few seconds. Other times his sensory chip may malfunction causing him to lose the sense of touch in his right arm, possibly due to the experimental nature of the skin-graft and sensory relays.



[EQUIPMENT] [0w]
=========================





==================================================

Corporate Espionage is a growing business in the Union. There's a great deal of competition within these corporations. Some of it to outdo rivals in development of projects, others to ascend the corporate latter. In recent years the competition has become so fierce that a new market for people with "special" skills has surfaced. These people have become accustomed to finding out corporate secrets, leaking plans and blueprints for prototypes, and the elimination of competition. The payment is usually in the newest technology and upgrades out. Often they include prototypes offered up as both payment and product testing.

More recently as the need for these corporate spy's emerged a new market has also risen, one that would enable these spies to do their jobs more efficiently. It is from here that Xander acquired his prototype right arm and right eye.

During a mission gone horribly wrong, Xander has been blackmailed into voluntary exile. The spy who allegedly caught him allowed him to choose exile as a professional courtesy in exchange for not revealing him, and all his previous marks. Now Xander searches the galaxy for a new purpose, profession, and identity in life.

The arm is equipped with a hidden blade just under the wrist while the forearm houses a small energy cannon. The arm is powered by a special cell that regenerates as the bacteria inside it reproduces and is then used up as a power source. The arm also has state of the art sensory equipment and synaptic nodes allowing the owner to keep his sense of touch through the skin grafts.

The right eye has been doctored up to look as closely to human as possible and at first glance people may miss it. If one would pay attention he would notice that light and miniature servos in the right eye. The eye itself is capable of infrared and nightvision. It also offers a miniature head displaying relevant information (temp, heart rate, etc.)

[Revan]

Cherry Bomb


TOTAL COST: [30w]

CHARACTER NAME: Cherry Bomb
SECRET IDENTITY: Alisha Baxter
SPECIES: Mutant
GENDER: Female
HAIR: Red
EYES: Green
HEIGHT: 5'5
WEIGHT: 115
Age: Just turned 17




[ABILITIES] [7w, 1r]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: 3 (1w)
STRENGTH: 1 (0w, 1r)
AGILITY: 4 (2w)
SPEED: 3 (1w)
DURABILITY: 3 (3w)

HEALTH: 3
ENERGY: 12
REGENERATION: 5

WEALTH: 0 (0w)



[ACTIONS] [17w,2r]
=========================

Combat - Close 4 (2w)
-Agility Bonus/Weapon Modifier
-Self Defense
-Unique Fighting Style
-non weapons as weapons
-Skateboard Combat

Combat - Ranged 3 (1w)
-Weapon modifier

Fireworks 8 (12w)
-Combines with Close/Ranged Combat
-Automatically causes collateral damage
-Efficient
-Area of Effort (add stones for area effect)

Hunting/Tracking 2 (2r)
-Stalking/Shadowing
-Set/Spot Trap


Skateboarding 3 (1w)

Social Skills 3 (1w)
-Manipulation
-Guilt trips
-Lying/Acting



[MODIFIERS] [15w]
=========================

Energy Battery 1 (1w)

Reflexive Dodge 2 (3w)

Targeting 3 (6w)

Toughness 1 (2w)

Deep Reserves 2 (3w)




[CHALLENGES] [+10w]
===================================================

Love for Explosions (+1)

Likes to use people (+2) Loves to play with their emotions

Mutant (+3)

Minor (+1)




[EQUIPMENT] [0w]
=========================

Custom Outfit 1

Custom Skateboard +3 (used as a weapon)
-Specialized grips
-Razor Sharp Edges



==========================

Bio:
Cherry Bomb is the granddaughter of Patch and daughter of Dr. Fix'er'up. She hasn't seen Patch in 6 years because her parents felt he was a bad influence on her and didn't like her being around all those killers and murderers. Her powers manifested 4 years ago giving her the ability to create explosive bombs of energy which can detonate on impact, through timed delay, or at will. She can also reabsorb these bombs. Now 17 years of age, she returns to the Hellhouse with her father who has taken a position at the Hellhouse as an inventor (the pay was very convincing as is the fact that it's not regulated by laws). Unbeknown to him, she's actually come to hang out with an unsuspecting Granpa Patch and the other Merc's in the Hellhouse and to make a lot of money while doing it.

[Revan]

Whirlwind


[DESCRIPTION]
=========================

TOTAL COST: [40w]

CHARACTER NAME: Whirlwind
SECRET IDENTITY: David Cannon
SPECIES: Mutant
GENDER: Male
HAIR: Brown
EYES: Blue
HEIGHT: 6'
WEIGHT: 195 lbs



[ABILITIES] [5w, 2r]
=========================

INTELLIGENCE: 2 (0w, 2r)
STRENGTH: 2 (0w, 2r)
AGILITY: 2 (0w, 2r)
SPEED: 2 (0w, 2r)
DURABILITY: 3 (3w)

HEALTH: 3
ENERGY: 12
REGENERATION: 5

WEALTH: 0 (0w)



[ACTIONS] [26w, 1r]
=========================

Combat - Close 4 (2w)
-Strength Bonus/Weapon Modifier
-Wrestling
-Street Fighting
-Dirty Tactics

Combat - Ranged 2 (0w, 2r)
-Weapon Modifier

Flight 6 (3w) Can only sustain flight for short periods. Can be used to travel up and down walls/over water.
-(Flight) Fits with main power
-(Flight) Limited Maneuverability
-(Flight) Maximum Speed up to 5

Mastery of Element 6 (20w)
-(Mastery) Combine with Close/Ranged Combat
-(Mastery) Create/Manipulate Element
-(Mastery) Elemental Force Blast
-(Mastery) Free Force Field while using element
-Automatically causes collateral damage

Social Skills 2 (0w, 2r)
-Teen Culture
-Intimidation



[MODIFIERS] [8w]
=========================

Deep Reserves 2 (4w)

Energy Battery 1 (1w)

Invulnerability 0 (3w)
-(Invulnerability) Minor
-Immune to dizzyness and vertigo



[CHALLENGES] [+10w]
=========================

Being a mutant (+3)

Conflicting interests (+4) Training to be a hero/a "good" guy vs. Using his powers for his own personal benefits
Homo-sapien vs. Homo-superior
Trying not to be a bully

Compulsion to stick up for the underdog (+2) Sticks up for mutants especially when humans are involved

Tends to be a bit rough around the edges/insensitive of peoples feelings. (+1)






==================================================

Bio:

David Cannon grew up believing that if someone wanted something, he'd have to be strong enough to take it. And that's exactly what he's been doing his whole life. Bullying people, and taking things. It had worked for him though most of his school years until he got to high school, where he came across a bully who was both bigger and stronger than he was. Unfortunatley for this big goon, he chose to pick on David on the wrong day. The two got into a brawl, and just when it seemed that the bully had the upper hand, David's powers manifested, inevitably sending his opponent through a brick wall and giving him a one way trip to the hospital. The powers that David developed scared him, not because of what they could do, but because he might actually kill someone someday.

After his powers manifested, it wasn't long before the anti-mutant groups were at his door with constant threats and acts of vandilism. Soon after his parents told him of a conversation they had with someone from Xavier's school for the gifted. It wasn't long after that he was enrolled.